LEADERSHIP victim mind-set when you blame an external influence ( a person or situation — the persecutor ) and coach yourself or others to mentally shift into a creative mind-set , own the situation , and work to better it .
4 . CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION
We learned about a “ framework for conversation ” to deal with a situation in a nonthreatening but very powerful , productive way . The framework has three parts . The first part is stating your observation very objectively . It would be like saying , “ Jane , you promised me that this report would be completed by the end of the day yesterday , and I have not seen it yet .” That ’ s stating it very objectively . It ’ s not blaming anybody ; it ’ s just stating an objective observation . The second part is your own story . It ’ s very powerful using these exact words “ The story I ’ m telling myself is . . .” In this case , “ Jane you missed the deadline yesterday , and I didn ’ t get the reports on my desk as we discussed , so the story I ’ m telling myself is that these reports were not that important for you .” The third part is to be open to the other person ’ s viewpoint so you can ask , “ That ’ s the story I ’ m telling myself . . . am I right in saying that ?” or “ What ’ s your take on that ?” and then be open to hearing their story and their dialogue .
5 . ACTIVE LISTENING
If you want to become an effective active listener , you want to master all five of these components . As a listener , you want to be truly present for one thing , but you want to start with asking open-ended questions , those that cannot be answered with a “ yes ” or a “ no .” The second component is reflecting . You want to restate the ideas you just heard , so reflect on them . You might say , “ So what I ’ m hearing you say is . . .” Then you want to empathize , so suspend any judgment and understand and identify with the person ’ s emotions . So , for example , you reflect , “ What I ’ m hearing you say is this . . .” and then emphasize , “ That must be tough !” or “ I know you ’ re stressed out .”
The fourth component is clarifying . You want to bring unclear points into focus and ensure an accurate understanding . Clarify what the situation is and how it put you behind with this report not coming in on time . Then you want to end with summarizing and closure . To summarize , the five components of active listening are questioning , reflecting , empathizing , clarifying , and summarizing . Again , being truly present allows you to use this framework , to really understand and empathize with the other side so that you can move the conversation forward knowing you ’ re aligned with the other person and they are full engaged .
6 . COMMITTED ACTION
Committed action is when you are being very clear in your communication . This means that if you need something , you ’ re not simply saying , “ OK , great , Jane , I need that report ASAP . Are we all clear on what ’ s needed ?” That ’ s very vague on all fronts . Effective communication requires two parts : an effective request and an effective response . An effective request includes “ who ,” “ what ,” “ when ,” and possibly “ how .” A good effective request is , “ Jane , I need this report delivered to me by the end of the day tomorrow , preferably by email . Can you do that ?”
That ’ s an effective request , but only half of the required communication for a committed action . The other half is a unique and effective response , which can be “ Yes , I agree to whatever ’ s been asked .” or “ No . I cannot do what ’ s being asked .” It could then be followed by a counteroffer or a promise to promise . Yes and no are self-explanatory . A counteroffer might be , “ I can ’ t get that to you by the end of day tomorrow . Can I get it to you by the end of day on Monday instead ?” A promise-topromise means , “ I ’ m not sure if I can do that . Can I email you in 30 minutes ? I ’ ve got to talk to John , then I ’ ll let you know if we can meet that deadline or not .” Effective communication requires an effective request and an effective response . That ’ s when you have truly committed action .
FINAL THOUGHTS
Overall , this program was well run , and I highly recommended it to anyone who wants to increase the communication effectiveness of their company ’ s leadership team . The six modules that I explained are the six key takeaways that I took from the Stagen Foundational Leadership Program . I hope this gives you something to reflect on and hope that it can also help you become a better leader through better , more effective communication . Good Luck !
Andy Buyting ' s thought leadership journey started when he published his first business book in 2007 and first magazines in 2009 . Since that time , he has leveraged custom magazines and online digital content strategies to establish himself as a leading authority in content marketing and brand positioning . Through his company , Tulip Media , Andy and his team make these content marketing strategies and tools accessible to their Client-Partners .
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