1 . BDSM Bondage / discipline , dominance / submission , and sadism / masochism ( BDSM ) is the most fantasized about kink . I found that 93 % of men and 96 % of women had fantasized about some aspect of BDSM before . BDSM obviously reflects a wide spectrum of behaviors , from mild to wild , and most people are at the more mild end , with fantasies about taking on dominant or submissive roles , tying up a partner or being tied up , and engaging in light sadomasochism ( think spanking and biting ) being the most common .
People are drawn to BDSM for multiple reasons . For some , it ’ s simply an escape from the confines of traditional gender roles . For others , it ’ s about an escape from self-awareness or exploring other sides of the self . For yet others , it ’ s about the appeal of the taboo , trying something new , or a craving for intense stimulation .
2 . Fetishes Fetish fantasies involve a focus on specific objects ( like boots or stockings ) or non-genital body parts ( like feet or armpits ). I found that 45 % of my participants reported having had a fetish fantasy before , with men reporting more such fantasies than women .
The single most common fetish fantasy involved feet , with about 1 in 7 adults saying they ’ d had a fantasy before in which feet or toes played a significant role .
Psychologists believe that most fetishes are learned — through experience , we start to develop associations between certain objects / body parts and sexual arousal . However , there can also be a taboo element to them , as well as an overlap with BDSM , such as when someone fantasizes about another person stepping or walking all over them .
3 . Body fluids Many people reported fantasies in which specific body fluids played a big role . Unsurprisingly , male and female ejaculate were the most common , with a majority of men and women having fantasized about them before . However , other body fluids appeared with some frequency , too .
For example , 45 % of men and 35 % of women had fantasies involving spit , 31 % of men and 14 % of women had fantasies involving breast milk , 32 % of men and 15 % of women had fantasies involving urine , and 6 % of men and 2 % of women had fantasies involving feces .
In many of the fantasies involving body fluids , they were used in an act of dominance / submission , so that seems to be a big part of the appeal here .
4 . Voyeurism Fantasies about watching someone else undress or have sex are very common . In fact , 60 % of my participants reported having fantasized about this before , although men had more voyeurism fantasies than did women .
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