SEX & Relationship
These Are the Kinks and Fetishes Americans Fantasize About the Most
So you like it when your partner spreads your limbs , ties you to the bedposts , and talks dirty to you . In case you were wondering , you ’ re not alone : People are pretty kinky , according to the latest sex research .
There are lots of different kinks out there , and it can be tough to measure how common they are . But a 2017 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that nearly 50 % of the general population has tried some form of BDSM in their lives . ( Bondage , Dominance , Sadism , and Masochism is hardly the kinkiest kink out there , but it ’ s among the most common .)
While there isn ’ t a general consensus on how often people engage in kinky activity , there is one for how often people fantasize about kinks . A lot of the fantasy research comes from Justin Lehmiller , PhD , a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute . For his book , Tell Me What You Want ( now available in paperback ), he surveyed 4,175 Americans aged 18-87 about their sexual fantasies , and found out exactly which kinks people are dreaming about the most .
Just because you fantasize about a certain kink , it doesn ’ t mean you actually want to act on it , Lehmiller notes . “ If a fantasy is non-consensual or poses an unacceptable risk of harm , it shouldn ’ t ever be acted on ,” he explains . “ Keep in mind that fantasy and reality are two different things , and some fantasies are best left as fantasies .”
Below , in his own words , Lehmiller spells out the most common kinks and fetishes he came across in his research .
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