March 2019 March2019 | Page 36

The Golf Cart CHRONICLES BY: SUZY JAMES - WWW.ITSNEVER2LATEBOOKS.COM This Is A Story taken from The Golf Cart Chronicles - A Compilation Of Funny Golf Cart/Golfing Related Short Stories I DON’T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT GOLF CARTS! SUZY JAMES, Author T It will take a lot of nerve on my part. Do you want to know why? Because, I would be up against all of the expert producers who do nothing but cre- ate these vehicles to be used on golf courses, roads, and anywhere else they can serve a purpose. So be thankful I am a know-nothing-non-inven- tive golf cart dummy. With all the competition out there, I will definitely not invent a real golf cart under any circumstance. But, there’s nothing whatsoever that is stopping me from inventing a make-believe one just for the fun of it. If it were not for inspired writers like me who love to create humorous fictional stories in a far-out and witty way, you would have missed out on me tickling your funny bone. hat’s right; you see golfers and golf cart users, if it were not for people like me (Allthumbs McDummy), who have no knowledge about golf carts, we still wouldn’t have these useful vehicles in our world. Come to think about it, if I were to invent my first golf cart/golf car/golf vehicle today, I would name them McDummy’s Flog Trac. Spell Flog Trac backward and you get Golf Cart. 36 There, that’s settled. Here goes noth- ing. WWW.GOLFCAROPTIONS.COM FIRST, THIS IS MY DISCLAIMER: I Mrs. Anonymous refuse to accept responsibility for bad-talking in rela- tion to any real golf cart invented by anyone since the beginning of time, with the exception of my untrue golf cart. HOW TO BUILD AN IMAGINARY GOLF CART: I shall use my cerebrum; the thinking part of my brain, to draw a mental sketch on a place in my mind. This is a must in order to get a mental image. There will be a tad effort involved to control my pretend left hand when drawing the imaginary golf cart. Sav- ing a pen, pencil and paper material is definitely a good thought. How-