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First of all, you have to BE a great listener. If you are a ‘waiting to talker’, other people will realize that
and again, they will not want to converse with you. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that being a great
listener will make you fascinating to other people.
Understand that to everyone you will ever meet, their favorite subject is themselves. If you listen and
ask questions and they get to talk about themselves the entire time, they will walk away saying, ‘Geez,
that Joe guy, he is such a great conversationalist! I can’t wait to I meet up with him again.’
And I can even go into tying in a bunch of body language into this part of being a conversationalist, but
I’ll write the next essay on that topic or this will go on for a bit too long.
Back to when to insert your story and how to tell that story…
If those that you are conversing with are asking you a lot of questions and are showing all the obvious
body language signs that they are into what you are saying, then you insert a relevant story.
The biggest mistake that drives me insane when having a conversation with someone is when that
person drags the story on, they never get to the climax. A great story must be like a roller coaster:
high, low, high, low.
Contrast is fascinating and captivating for the human brain. (It was a cold day in July…)
Time and place is also a great way to keep the brain on edge; I remember in 2007 when I was in
between two bodybuilding shows and I felt like I had been hit by a truck. Little did I know that I would
be going up against one of the greatest bodybuilders in American history…(got ya, I am betting your
brain wants to know why I felt like I got hit by a truck and what I did in that week between the two
shows).
Finally, it’s okay to embellish. I have what my friends call a ‘whack-pack’, kind of like Howard Stern
used to have. I seem to draw in fascinating characters into my life and I believe that is the principle of
never being bored will lead to never being boring in terms of the law of attraction.
Each of these characters has a nickname and their ‘feats of strength’ become a little more mythical and
legendary as the years go by: Once upon a time, my buddy, Quadzilla, was on a business trip when his
hotel room was broken into while he was sleeping…
In conclusion, your life is going to be a fictional story to most people that you ever come across. I
actually ran into a doctor the other morning while getting Devon a D&D coffee and he said, ‘Man, I feel
like I am living your life. The stories you talk about every day make me feel so connected.’ That is the
principle of fascination in real-life. You don’t have to be a lot different and do not try to be different
for the sake of being different. 10% will do the job and it will attract people to you like a magnet.
Way leads onto way.