TODDLER
Many of us plan to have more than1 child, and many of us know from
experience how special a sibling relationship can be. However, introducing
your new baby to your “old” baby is often not an easy task, and it can stir up
strong emotions of jealously and insecurity in a first born. It goes without
saying that this is not ideal, so in order to help spur on the bond
between siblings here are some tips to help your toddler adjust to,
and grow to love, your new addition to the family.
Prepare early
Coming home
In hospital
You can also help your toddler engage with
the baby by explaining her actions. For
example, “When baby grabs hold of your
finger, she is letting you know she loves you!”
It’s important that you tell your toddler well in
advance that a new baby is going to be coming
home. If he is under 2 ½, tell him about the
new baby in your third trimester when there
is growing evidence in your belly. Any earlier
than this, and he will be confused by the
passing of time and lack of this mysterious
baby you keep talking about. If he is over 3,
show him photos of himself as a baby, and talk
about his growth and development to who he
is now, as this may help him relate to the new
baby. You can also involve him with your
unborn child by taking him to your check-ups
to hear the baby’s heartbeat.
When you go to hospital, try to arrange for
your toddler to do something fun so he has a
positive experience associated with the new
baby. For example, he could bake with granny,
or go on an outing with his favourite uncle.
Once baby is born, let your toddler visit you
both in hospital. Make a fuss over him and
introduce him to his new sibling. Display a
photo of your toddler by your bedside, so he
will know he is still important. Another good
tip is to bring a gift to the hospital for your
toddler, “from” the baby.
When baby comes home, try to stick to the
toddler’s routine as much as you can. This
won’t be easy, but it will help him feel secure
with the reassurance of pre-baby normality.
Of course the baby will have her own needs
and routine. Use this as an opportunity to
involve your toddler, for example asking him
to help you (maybe to fetch items you need
when nappy changing) or else drawing him
into the baby’s activities (you could read him
a story while you breastfeed).
This might be hard, but avoid saying “don’t
touch” too much. Rather try and be relaxed
with him being around the baby. Only if he
is putting the baby in danger should you
intervene. Having said that, never leave the
baby alone with your toddler.