“ When baby came home through the
front door you turned into a mother and,
somehow, being a lover does not seem
that important anymore ”
What is the secret to rekindling the
romance in your relationship?
1. Be kind to yourself.
2. Sleep when you can.
3. Keep your channels of communication open
with your husband. Let him know what your
expectations are for each other, and let him know
how he can assist you – and vice versa. The biggest
passion killer is resentment, so communicate and
resolve your problems with each other.
4. Get a “support group” of grannies, aunties,
sisters and friends who can look after the baby
for you for a couple of hours so that you can have
some quality time with your man.
5. Test your stress levels. Log on to
www.alimurray.co.za and take the stress test.
It is very important to monitor your stress
levels regularly. It is vital for you to keep yourself
healthy and emotionally well so that you can look
after your baby and your family. A happy mom is
a happy home. You need to take care of YOU and
ask for help when you need it.
6. Your shape – if you can’t hide it decorate it!
So you’ve picked up 10 kg and you’ve got a few
lumps and bumps. Don’t stress about it. Decorate
the bits you don’t like and get on with having fun
with your man. The more fun you have, the faster
you will lose the weight and the less he will
notice the “flaws”. When you are settled in with
your baby you can go back to gym and watch
what you eat and you will have your figure
back in no time.
Special note: A man who truly loves his wife and
is respectful of her knows that you might be out
of shape for a while, but you are no longer just
his wife, you are the miracle mother now too, so
having a few lumps, bumps and stretch marks is
all part of the package.
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7. Plan for quality time with your man.
8. For the first 3 months of your baby’s life – keep
it simple. Even a sandwich and tea by a roaring
fire with just time for each other can be great.
Or how about having a bath together or holding
hands and watching a movie.
9. Later on as your baby gets to about 3 to
4 months, you can plan bigger excursions –
a movie, a dinner date, a weekend away.
10. If you find that you are still struggling with
your libido after 6 months and that you and
your hubby are constantly arguing, book a
consultation with an expert and get the
support and advice you need to have a
happy and successful family unit.
About the author:
Ali Murray is a relationship consultant, mentor
and professional speaker who is dedicated to
assisting people with their interpersonal
relationships. Visit www.alimurray.co.za to read
more of her articles and find out when her next
public talk will be.
years old!
Studies have shown that when your
baby gets to about the age of 3 you
are going to start feeling like
you have your life back again. This
is normally when you will fall
pregnant with baby number 2 or 3!