MAL 13/16 | Page 94

achieve this. They approach the person and hopefully the answer is ‘Yes’! If the answer is ‘No’, this should be respected; mentoring takes time and the person may be unable to invest time as needed. The start of a mentoring relationship usually sets the tone of the relationship. For success, rapport should be built and objectives and expectations of the relationship defined clearly. This helps in measuring success through the mentorship period. Frequency and length of meetings and boundaries of the relationship should also be agreed at the onset. Tips for both Mentors and Mentees Mentors and mentees should also keep the following in mind for success of their relationship. 92 MAL 13/16 ISSUE Listen Actively Keep an Open Mind Mentors should keenly listen to mentees even if they ramble due to nervousness and awe. Mentors should also resist the temptation to keep talking about themselves. Both mentor and mentee can learn from each other through sharing their ideas and perspectives and remaining non-judgmental and open minded, which creates freedom in the relationship and makes for deeper sharing, intimacy and growth. The mentee knows about your illustrious experience and background, which is why they selected you as a mentor. Turn the spotlight towards your mentee instead; focus on their need. Ask open questions and intently listen to their responses. By doing so you will understand them better and gain insights on the best approach to help them grow. Mentees should also listen actively to their mentors, learning from their experiences and applying insights gained in their own lives. Respect boundaries Healthy mentoring relationships have clearly defined boundaries, which include time and access boundaries, as well as off-limit topics, which creates freedom in the relationship by protecting both mentor and mentee and providing a defined framework for the relationship. Honesty Creating a safe space for both mentee and mentor requires honesty and some vulnerability.