HUMOR
By: Ricardo Osuna
This is a compilation of some of the funniest jokes ever. If you don’t laugh with these, you
won’t laugh with anything else. Enjoy.
• Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her
over.
• I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've
been tripping all day.
• I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
• My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike
away.
• I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
• My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
• Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
• A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The
librarian says "They're right behind you!"
• The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a
glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
• Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
• When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
• My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
• What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
• What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.