M3 Today Magazine M3 Today Magazine Spring 2018 | Page 10

SCIENCE OF GREAT CONVERSATION The Science Of Great Conversation BY: VANESSA VAN EDWARDS, AUTHOR OF CAPTIVATE YOU’RE GOING to a party, networking event or cocktail hour to meet new contacts and make connections. However, you always have a problem figuring out how to approach people, no matter what the situation. Thankfully, there are skills you can hone and then use in social or business settings. They may be verbal or nonverbal, and easy to grasp or require a little practice. I want to explore the science of great conversation with you. How can you make dazzling conversation with anyone you meet? There is both an art and a science to effective communication. 1. Be Anti-Boring Everyone starts off conversations the same way. They say, “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?” Instead, ask someone, “What passion projects are you working on?” or “What gets you up in the morning?” 2. Start Off Strong Start off the conversation with a “how” or “why” question. People will give you more thoughtful answers and really think about why you’re asking them. Say, for instance, “How did you meet the host?” That way you’ll learn about the person you’re talking to, as well as the host. 3. Trips And Adventure Ask people if they have any trips or fun adventures coming up. 4. Foster Excitement Ask people if anything exciting happened to them that day. 5. Stories Tell a story. People love funny anecdotes and it makes your conversation more personal right off the bat. 6. Break It Down Break down a question for someone. Instead of being general and saying, “How are you doing?” ask, “How’s Fall treating you so far?” Frame it in the context of time so he or she can thoughtfully answer the question. 7. Be The Highlight Ask a person, “Have any highlights today?” Not only is this person going to feel good because he or she gets to talk about him or herself, but it also starts off the conversation on a positive note. 8. The Handshake Use a firm handshake when you meet someone. Don’t do the “death grip,” but make sure that your firmness level 10 10