Love a Happy Ending Lifestyle Magazine August 2013 | Page 59

Formula One racing car noises. He’ll make someone a lovely husband when he grows up.
He does the same tricks with supermarket trolleys. You do realise just how tough it is for
folks in wheelchairs. All manner of lumps and gulleys become hazards. With my leg straight
out in front of me like a lance I felt like a jousting knight on a runaway horse escaping from
the Findus buying department. At the self service restaurant a chef tapped rather impatiently
on his steel pots of vegetables demanding to know which I wanted. I would have told him but
my eyes were about level with the tray track. “Does she like beans?” he asked Oscar.
About halfway across the English Channel the UK coastguard carried out a helicopter rescue
exercise. The kids wanted to offer me to the Captain as an authentic casualty. The red and
white whirly-bird hovered above the ship while a guy dangled with a stretcher above the
deck. Luckily he kept himself clipped on to his rope since the ice pack had melted and there
was not an iceberg in sight.
Eventually I was trundled back to the car deck and levered into the car. Some 23 hours after
we had boarded the ferry we got off again at exactly the same point. I must say that all of the
crew of the Brittany ferry Bretagne were kind and helpful – but I’m not so sure about the
orange guy with the hose.
In a couple of days I am setting out again to France. I am still a complete hop-along but if the
sea is rough at least I’ll only have to find one sea leg. The quest goes on and will include a
weight loss regime set in the vineyards of France and featuring a tandem bicycle, a poet and
a romantic novelist on a mission. We call ourselves Le Grand Crew and if you’re in a car
following my pumping rump you’ll know why.

La Normandie – en route to Paris
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