A SECOND OPINION
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Quiz Time
by Mary Barry, MD
1. Will you get cramps if you go swimming right after you eat? Not in my experience. I think that rule comes from your elders, who used that time to make you put more sunscreen on.
2. If you open the chest, will the air bubbles go to your brain? Why yes, unless you use the heart-lung bypass circuit with filters inside and bubble detectors, after priming all lines perfectly. Your surgeon will do other things too. If there is no surgeon handy, keep your chest closed – that’ s the ticket.
3. Do you need a timer to boil an egg? Not if you have a microwave.
4. Do you catch your death from being outside without your coat? No, you just stand at the bus stop, freezing.
5. Is Ted Lasso the best coach of all time? Sadly, no. Comes close, but Vince Lombardi won the first two Super Bowls and three straight NFL titles. And Denny Crum built a dynasty.
6. Do you have to drink eight glasses of water a day? Not if you have grapefruit juice and radler handy.
7. Once it turns cold, will you get sick? Not unless a sick person coughs on you. Mask up.
8. Will sugar make you hyper? No, but it makes things taste good.
9. If it’ s on the floor for less than five seconds, is it safe to eat? Whose floor are we discussing?
10. Should you pull out that first gray hair? No, you should check your self-esteem in a mirror.
11. Should you shave down before a race? Only if meet records are at stake... and I have no personal experience of that. Go C Relay!
12. Do you need a bright light to read? Depends on how soon you want your mother to catch you reading under the covers.
13. Do you get shorter over time? Yes, and I don’ t just mean your temper. There are always shoe lifts.
14. Does taking 10 supplements a day make you zippy? No, it makes your urine technicolor, per the lab.
15. Does candy give you acne? That would be puberty – and family history – unlucky, but there it is. Have some M & Ms.
16. If a jellyfish stings you, should someone pee on it? Yes, according to Survivor. Try soap and water, though.
17. Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? No. I suggest McIntosh though, if you wish to try.
18. Should you get there 10 minutes early? Five minutes, minimum.
19. Should you fast before your annual physical? Yes. And no whining, or the lab might make fun of you when you leave.
28 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE OPINION