REFLECTIONS: Let It Be
“
They
by Teresita Bacani-Oropilla, MD
still have a mind of their own.”
That’ s what we most hear about when we talk about our elders. In their late 70s, 80s or 90s, they are needing help with taking care of their physical and even mental needs. They no longer drive, buy their own groceries, make their homes as lovely as they were. They have the will but not the strength nor stamina to carry on as usual!
These losses become a point of contention among designated caretakers to be, who happen still to be in the thick of life themselves. They too are finishing their goals and dreams and those they are in charge of their jobs, their children, their projects. They truly become the“ sandwich generation.”
It may sound so simple to add another task, but in reality, it is not. The elders have to change their domicile. Whether one owns an estate or a simple home, one’ s memories of its contents are life connected. And painful to leave!
To see the cabinet full of music boxes is an example: that little dancing, fully clothed lady with a baby on its back was meant for the toddlers left at home when their dad went to Japan. That delicate blue egg was a gift at one’ s retirement from faculty. The girl playing on a harp arrived when a niece recovered from life-saving surgery.
Pictures of the Colosseum in Rome, the incarcerated bodies from buried Pompeii, the remains of the Incan Empire in Peru are breathtaking histories of our ancient world! One remembers the stimulating joys of travel!
Most old houses of others have wedding and graduation pictures of themselves and their children and grandchildren! Leave them? Including the antique chair and lamp from great grandmother? Leave reminders of your past? But the sale of the house will help the nursing home rent!
One has to let go!
Whenever one goes, one has to rethink one’ s life over, using whatever talents one has retained. One can still radiate love and encouragement to family and old friends, as one is now the repository of the past: a vital link.
And if one is fortunate to have a loving God, life on this earth was never a waste!
Dr. Bacani-Oropilla is a retired pediatrician and psychiatrist.
September 2025 27