The Best Part of My Day
I
live in a dark and lonely space . Many of you have had this experience . At times I feel so constrained and imprisoned . The floor is yanked from under my feet frequently leaving me floating in an ocean without a ballast . There is no such thing as social media , telecommunications or informational technology in my world .
Every now and then someone will get my attention or distract me with loud noises . Frequently , I would rather just sleep through life . Eating is secondary to me . Sure , I have favorite foods . Most importantly , do not serve me hot peppers or jalapenos as these generate unwanted gastrointestinal issues .
However , I do enjoy exercise and a nice jog on occasion . Not everyone relishes the discomfort of exercise , but I thrive on it : the more active the better . Heart racing , legs pumping and arms moving is hypnotizingly exhilarating .
My bathroom habits are not suitable for all , but it works for me . Like a sophisticated engineer , no one can eclipse my capabilities . I am the environmentally friendly ultimate green space . I bathe every day .
On the other hand , my world space is quite confining . If only I
20 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE by JAMES GRAHAM , MD
could grow up and be more independent ; notwithstanding , I love to mooch off my parents .
Yes , my parents are okay , but they give me no freedom . I can ’ t smoke or drink or use drugs . They seem irrationally afraid of me having an accident or falling . Correspondingly , they are abundantly overprotective . I hear complaints all the time . I can ’ t sleep . I ’ m so tired . I ’ m so uncomfortable and something about that says they will be glad when this is over . Whatever , stop your whining and pay attention to me . I can ’ t wait to break out of this place and live on my own terms . Like building a new house , my growth and maturity phase is taking several months longer than anticipated . I am hoping for a miracle as I keep developing . If only I could be set free of my restricting lifeline .
And then it happens . I go from darkness , gradually moving toward the light . My days of sacrifice and confinement have given way to emancipation . Ascending out of the murk , I feel hands grabbing my head and twisting and pulling me out of the abyss . Wait a minute . I can ’ t breathe ! I am drowning . Someone please help me catch my breath . Okay , there we go , thanks . Stop . Don ’ t spank me . Child education does not advocate spanking anymore .
Everybody is cheering for me , and I don ’ t know why . Thanks for