IT TAKES TWO
Love , The Universal Medicine That ’ s Not a Pill !
by KRISTEN SHANAHAN
If you simply Google the word “ love ,” it is defined as “ an intense feeling of deep affection .” If you dive deeper into your search , you will find there are many different definitions of love , and it seems each person explains it in various ways .
Dr . Stephen Taylor , psychiatrist and chief medical officer at UofL Health – Peace Hospital , sums up love as “ a deep connection to another that is fundamental and personal , and part of the core identity of who we are as a person and how we see ourselves in the world .”
Dr . Taylor believes we are born with the polar-opposite feelings of both love and aggression .
“ I think they are kind of at the base . They ’ re foundational experiences and emotions . They ’ re the first things we feel and grapple with as human beings , and we build on them ,” says Dr . Taylor .
Dr . Taylor says aggression often comes to the surface as a defensive feeling of self-preservation , but love is a very powerful and constructive feeling that allows us to build a community and live among one another .
When it comes to love , there are many layers . The type of love we feel for our parents differs from the love we feel for a friend , a spouse or partner and a child . As Dr . Taylor explains , the first sense of love we discover is imprinted upon us at birth .
“ The first and the most important version of identification with others is the first person or people we live with ,” says Dr . Taylor . “ Our parents , or whoever takes care of us , that ’ s the deepest level of love and that ’ s the template that all of the other relationships are layered on . So , when we fall in love with a person , that feeling we feel for them is built on those internal fundamental feelings .”
As we talk about romantic love , is there really such thing as “ love at first sight ?” Dr . Taylor believes there is , as he reflects on the first time he met his wife on a blind date . “ When I first saw her and met her , I kind of knew that I wanted to spend a lot of time with her , and that if this relationship evolved into marriage , then that would be OK with me . She was a little slower to come along than I was , but I was patient and I waited , and we ’ ve been married for 22 years now .”
Dr . Taylor says the feeling of love operates at both a conscious and unconscious level . At times , the unconscious part of our minds will have a significant reaction to someone , or something ,
16 LOUISVILLE MEDICINE