LMSS SPHINCTER vol.81 issue 1 Sphincter Issue 1 | Page 13

the world bordered by shady streets, Instagram-worthy parks and more takeaways than you could get through in the entirety of freshers’ week. To the housebound recluse or the halls/town migrant, it may seem like our beloved strip of scouser-land serves a purely residential purpose. For those of us living here, trips into town are a rare (and inevitably expensive) pilgrimage, made even more difficult by the never-ending Arriva bus strikes. Luckily, the pastures are not always greener over in L1 and Smithdown has its own gems to knock you up a perfect mid-week nightcap. In the days long before Greenbank was rebuilt from the ashes upwards, a “Smithdown ten” existed for students to drown their sorrows and student loans along. These days, there is a heavier emphasis on updating the age-old working man’s pubs, concept bars and hipster cafes. Like any self-respecting student, I’ve done my market research into where pulls the best pint in the area, the results of which are included here for the disposal of your petty cash. Handyman’s supermarket – difficult to miss on your Thursday night commute to the Brookie is this recently renovated hardware store. Through its gridded windows you’ll often catch couples and companions alike packing out this genuine ex-shop. It’s a moderately sized venue that comfortably hosts live music every Wednesday at 9pm as well as miscellaneous events, such as the recent Smithdown Road festival. This pub is the platform through which an expanding company called Handyman brewery is selling its home-brewed wares, so you can expect plenty of craft beers and cider. Fat flamingo – a cosier venue just opposite the Brookie, Fat Flamingo has a Hawaiian-vibe interior with a bar at the back and a strip of cushion-laden benches for you to park your peachy derriere upon. As the place is only tiny, it has a similarly minute cocktail menu (when compared with the likes of holy- cocktail-grail that is the Font) that does offer 2-4-£10 before 10pm. Evil Eye – famous for its fat, leaky burritos, evil eye is another contender for a ca sual evening pint. It sits well within proximity of Craft Taproom and Kelly’s dispensary, so it’s perfect for a mini-crawl before bedtime. I can personally recommend the Tuesday night pub quiz as having one of the most flamboyant hosts you’ll ever come across. If you’re lucky, you’ll find Cocoa, the venue’s playful puppy, under your table. Let the tip of the evil-iceberg become the mac-n-cheese bites or the churros. The Brookehouse – needs no explanation. If you’ve never been to a Brookie Thursday, you need to question your priorities. SM Sweet, sweet Smithdown – a silk road of stride-of-priders; home to the largest student body in Liverpool; a pocket of