Re discovering myself and taking responsibility of my own actions
am one of those who has been brought up with the belief that girls can educate themselves as much as they want but at the end of the day they have to fall prey to the shackles of patriarchy. I had a very protected upbringing, that more often than not conformed to stereotypes; starting from a convent education to not stepping outside after sunset. Nevertheless, I was never deprived of any necessity during the 25 years that I stayed with my parents.
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Naturally the day I walked out of their cocoon, I realised what the world actually was; the only saving grace were my in-laws, specially my mother in law who tried her best to ensure that I missed my mother less...And I did. However, there were other challenges that I had to face. Living with my husband was a task, managing work as well as the home front was beginning to get to me...Unable to juggle my commitments and manage time, I started cursing the decision of marrying. The person was not the problem; the circumstances were. Yes I was not the only girl ever to get married, yes I was not the only one to be in such a situation but I was definitely the only one living my life first hand.
Things were getting extremely difficult as the days were going and I could see myself beginning to think of an alternate solution. This was not the man I had dated for 5 years...This was not the one for whom I fought with my parents. I also knew this very well that he too was thinking of ending it. We sat many a times to talk over it but we both knew it too well that the light at the end of the tunnel was getting fainter by the day.
I was three years into my marriage by now and had grown very detached to everyone and everything around me. One Sunday afternoon, I was sitting with my school friends chatting of days gone by when it struck me! In the course of our conversation, this friend casually stated " love is two people standing together and looking at the same direction". The next few days I spent a lot of time with myself, trying to discover myself. I gradually understood that love had never been an issue. The matter was quite simple. Both of us had equal expectations from the other...The expectations were so alike that it led to differences.
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