FEATURED ARTICLE
MARIANA
CALLEJA
‘ When we’ re young communicating often hurts.’
I
AM A DOCTOR, A TRAVELLLER, A writer, a pole dancer, chronic pain management expert, brain geek, and human behaviour fanatic. I am also a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a partner, a cousin and a friend. I also have a qualification that gives me a professional title. Is that me, on that piece of paper? Yes, according to most
people I meet. I’ m Doctor Mariana, with infinite emphasis on“ Doctor”. But I wasn’ t born this way. I started as Mariana, a naked, beautiful baby girl who learned how to wear a white coat.
Like most kids( even the happy, loved child I was at an early age) I struggled to communicate who I was, and to understand who everyone else was.
I remember parent struggles, when I’ d be afraid to say or do certain things, never really understanding why consequences existed until I hit adulthood myself. I remember school-friends struggles: the unexpected connections, mysterious silences and social exclusions that would leave me confused and adrift without answers. I became an adult, and the nature of relationships remained mysterious, obscured. I was married. I divorced.
When we’ re young, communicating often hurts. We fear the unknown. There’ s sadness, there’ s pain deep in the chest, there’ s fear, and there’ s doubt about who is really to blame here. We adjust- but learning to communicate effectively, meaningfully, lovingly, that’ s a battle that’ s never truly won.
In fact, effective communication is about relationships powered by that slippery concept called love, however we define it- as eros, as familial loyalty, as the unshakeable bond between friends, as mutual admiration between peers, or some other form.
You recognise it when it hits. Your heart thumps, your breathing changes, your head spins, your legs are filled with restless energy. You’ re energised, hopeful, dreamy and alive, willing to communicate without fear of judgment or failure.
Love powers the best kind of communication- and the key to happiness is communicating our feelings effectively, and learning the empathy required to understand the feelings of
“ Mariana gives a space of complete trust, honesty and inspiration. She found the source of my pain within the first 30 minutes.” @ Nicole Kolb, South Africa LIFEGRID MAGAZINE | LIFEGRID. COM. AU MARCH 2017