Life Without Conflict Life Without Conflict | Page 92

Life Without Conflict
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When you got married, it was in the presence of
Suryanarayan, the Sun God, the priest and guests. The priest
was your witness and at that time, you agreed to “Exercise
caution according to situations.” But, you do not know how to
be cautious. You should practice caution as the situation
dictates. When the priest chants, “Samaya varte savdhan,”
(Be cautious as the situation calls for) during the marriage
ceremony, he himself understands what that means, but does
the groom? What does it mean? It means that when the wife
gets upset, you should maintain caution, be very careful. Would
the neighbors not come to watch if the two of you were to fight,
and make a spectacle of yourselves? If you were never going
to get back together again then go ahead and fight, but why do
you fight otherwise? Should you not have this understanding
and awareness?
A female trait is such that she will never change and
therefore you will have to. Women are spontaneous (sahaj) in
nature, and therefore not likely to change.
Say your wife gets upset and says, “I am not bringing you
a plate of food upstairs anymore; you will have to come down
and get it yourself. You are now well and able. You wander
around and gossip with people, you smoke cigarettes, but when
it is time for you to eat, you ask me to bring your plate up to
you. I am not going to do that.” That is when you must say to
her calmly, “Please fix me the plate, and I will come down and
get it myself.” Even before she has a chance to say anything,
just tell her that you are sorry and that you are coming. If you
do this, you will sleep peacefully. Otherwise, your entire night
will be ruined. Both of you will pout, you will sleep separately
and not sleep well, and then in the morning, she will still be
sulking when she serves you your breakfast. You will notice it
right away. This life is full of conflicts and quarrels. The Hindus
spend their whole life in conflicts and quarrels.