74 Life Without Conflict
When you talk this way, it really shows that you are the one that is weak and inferior. How can she be controlling you? Just remain silent when she speaks. Only the weak get annoyed easily. So, when she gets annoyed, you should remain silent and just listen to her‘ record’.
If a Muslim man is unhappy with his wife’ s cooking and makes a comment about it and the wife gets angry, he will then remain silent and not say anything to antagonize her because he knows that if he does, the situation will blow up. He will mind his own business and let her mind hers, whereas the Hindu men will not refrain from blowing up the situation.
Every cast and creed wears its hats differently. The Vanik( traders) has his own hat, the Brahmin has his hat; each has his own way of wearing it. Everyone is different. Everyone’ s viewpoint is different and therefore, they cannot agree upon things, but it is best if quarrels do not arise.
Be Vigilant Before Differences Arise
If there is no intent of hostility left within you, then the other person will not have any intent of hostility towards you either. If you do not get annoyed or angry, neither will they. You have to become like a brick wall so that you hear nothing. Hiraba and I have been married for fifty years but we have never had any differences. If Hiraba spills ghee, I simply watch. My knowledge that she is not the one spilling is present at the time. Even if I ask her to spill, she will not. Would anyone spill anything valuable on purpose? No. Therefore, when ghee spills, you should just observe it. Before any conflicts arise, this Gnan is present on-the-moment.
A wife is easily pacified if the husband tells her,“ Only I know what I am going through,” but our Hindu men do not even say that; at least say this much so that happiness prevails.