LeadingAge New York Adviser Winter Vol. 1 | Page 40

Grief During the
Holidays: Hospice
Can Help

The winter months are here, and with this time of the year comes the celebrations inherent in
the holiday season. The winter holidays are generally perceived as “the most wonderful time
of the year.” For those who are facing new grief after the death of a loved one, the holidays
may instead be a time filled with pain and sadness.
Even those for whom grief is not as fresh, the holidays may serve as an annual reminder of the
loss – not only of that person, but of tradition and celebration. Tradition provides constancy,
comfort and security, but to those experiencing the loss of a loved one, once-cherished
traditions can be a sharp reminder that things are not the
same, and never will be again.
Bereavement professionals working in hospice and
palliative care understand how difficult this time of the year
can be. They support families coping with loss all year long.
Bereavement counselors stress the importance of making
decisions that feel right to the grieving person, and giving
oneself permission to make new or different choices at the
holidays.
Grief experts remind us that:
• Holidays are often centered around certain traditions
and rituals. For some, continuing these traditions
without a loved one may be an important way to
continue sharing their memory. For others, it may be
more comforting to develop new rituals to help lessen
the pain and immediacy of the loss. There is no right or
wrong way to handle the holidays.
• While the holidays can be filled with meaning, they
can also be filled with pressure and stress because
of additional tasks such as shopping, cooking and
decorating. Grieving people should be encouraged to
prioritize what needs to be done, and focus on those
projects that may bring them pleasure. Perhaps the gift
list can be pared down, or another family member can
host the family dinner this year.
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Adviser a publication of LeadingAge New York | Winter 2015