nority”) and often ghettoized into highly
technical areas, and as the quote shows,
Latinx women may be perceived as highly
emotional, or “The Willing Helper.” Some
of these, like “The Angry Black Woman” are
especially toxic. “I work very hard not to be
the angry black woman. Because once you
get that role, it is hard to get that one off of
you. So, I’m very strategic,” one black female
educator explained.
Women in general are also socialized to
be helpful and emotionally competent—and
to volunteer to take on undesirable tasks (one
researcher found that women volunteer 50%
more than men in a controlled situation), yet
we know performing lots of dead-end, un-
compensated or low-visibility work can slow
down, and even stall careers. In addition to
shouldering unpromotable work, our female
clients notice they often perform uncompen-
sated emotional labor and office housework,
like dealing with the difficult staff situation,
remembering the birthday card, or planning
the office holiday party. After one woman
wrote a dissertation for her male boss, she
was then asked to write him a letter support-
ing him for promotion due to his excellent
writing skills.
While many of the qualities that make
26
Leadership
women capable and skillful leaders, emo-
tional intelligence, capacity to create and
motivate teams, a lack of personal credit-
seeking, humility, and conscientiousness,
are positive and powerful strengths, we also
try to help women clearly see common lead-
ership traps, for white women and women
of color, and to deal with them effectively—
with a sense of solidarity and sisterhood.
What helps us see our surroundings
clearly, and maintain—and grow--distinc-
tive strengths? How do we contribute most
effectively to our organizations, districts,
schools and classrooms, without falling into
common leadership pitfalls? How do we em-
brace a ‘pull everyone up’ ethos, and support
our sisters and ourselves as we seek to rise?
Being great at your job isn’t enough
In a new book about women and leader-
ship promotion, How Women Rise, Sally
Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith describe
how women often make the mistake of be-
lieving that simply being outstanding at your
job will win you the acclaim and promotions
you deserve. Self-promotion feels icky and
inauthentic to many of us. “I was raised to
put others first.” So deeply engrained is the
sense of self-abnegation it may be invisible
to the woman who exhibits this set of be-
haviors. Yet difficulty with self-promotion
and calling attention to one’s work is fixable.
Goldsmith and Marshall point to a funda-
mental principle of all leadership change: we
have to embrace some degree of discomfort,
and develop some actual practices for for-
ward movement to see real shifts.
If calling attention to your good work feels
icky to you, how about trying something like
this, that reinforces the good work of others,
and also calls attention to your contribution:
“Thank you so much for noticing that we
did outstanding work on the WASC report.
Our team worked very hard on it, and I had
terrific support. And I’m glad I involved
every division director in the initial phase so
we could better understand how to advance
the district’s long-term goals.”
Learning to take credit for what you’ve
done, what you’ve achieved, and accepting
a simple thank you for an accomplishment,
instead of a, “Oh, anyone could have done
that…” are important behaviors to embrace.
“Speaking up about what you contribute and
detailing why you’re qualified does not make
you self-centered or self-serving. It sends a
signal that you’re ready to rise,” Helgesen
and Goldsmith affirm.