17% to 16% in the last 20 years, one doctoral
researcher concluded. “The preference for
‘masculine’ values over feminine in educa-
tional administration is not new,” said an-
other. “Leaders that best fit the ‘ideal-worker
norm’—white, male, married, and hetero-
sexual—are perceived as more attractive.
“It’s still really about who sees who on the
golf course, and whether you’re in the ring
of ‘known’ people in a certain set of search
firms,” one superintendent said. Particularly
for the top job, “There's just this innate mis-
trust of women by men in education. Males
align and hire other males all the time for
superintendent. These men are friends; they
know each other well. There's a level of com-
fort, they know what they're getting.”
Ultimately, my distressed client Audrey, a
leader with a long history in her organiza-
tion, was told, “The board had to go for the
safe choice.” This meant appointing another
white man. Sound familiar?
Know the facts
In our work with female leaders in educa-
tion, we take a two-pronged approach. We
believe it’s important to know the facts about
gender and people-of-color discrimination
in the field, since you can’t change what you
don’t see.
Many of our workshop attendees, both
men and women from all parts of the educa-
tion sector, simply aren’t deeply aware of the
realities of gender and color discrimination
in educational leadership. As one of my cli-
ents said, “I was raised to believe anything
was possible for women. I came up in that
era of women’s rights and a new world for
women. No one told me about the obstacles.”
Women of color often tell a different story.
“You can’t grow up black or brown in Amer-
ica and not know you’re going to face all
kinds of discrimination. My parents taught
me to be tough, don’t let it keep you back.
One of the reasons I wanted to be an educa-
tor was to make a difference. I knew I was
going to face some heavy headwinds. And
they are real. I feel them every day.”
First speak your truth
In our workshops, we play a short video of
a woman being publicly mansplained (when
a man condescendingly explains something
Women share moments of pain, anger, feelings of isolation
and the sense that they’re fighting the good fight—
sometimes without allies higher up.
to a woman she knows more about than
him), and then open the room for sharing.
The floodgates open.
Women share moments of pain, anger,
feelings of isolation and the sense that
they’re fighting the good fight—sometimes
without allies higher up. They say they’ve
been told that if they’re too smart, or too
opinionated, they’ll make men feel uncom-
fortable. One woman said her female mentor
and boss told her, “You need to stop sharing
your thinking so much. Being smarter than
the men in the room isn’t allowed.”
Another was informed by her male super-
visor, “You’re considered a bitch. I share the
exact same idea, I’m considered a visionary.”
Or a Latinx woman who had just as-
cended to a much more visible leadership
role reported, “I’ll never forget the first time
I attended a meeting of other leaders after
being promoted, and being asked to get cof-
fee for everyone.” She shook her head, “They
thought I was my male assistant’s assistant.”
One female leader said she realized, as
she faced a tough moment with her board,
“If I don’t stand up for this, I’ll never get the
recognition I deserve. And if I do, I’ll be
slaughtered. The board is all white, all male.
As a female of color, once again I’m the one
and only.”
Most of us are familiar with the likeable
vs. competent paradox women face as they
rise as leaders, and some of us understand
the barriers women of color face. The di-
lemmas are well-documented by research:
if women are bold, strong, and non-concil-
iatory they are often perceived as cold and
unlikeable (“difficult to work with”), but if
women are too friendly and collaborative,
they lack leadership presence.
Beyond this central dilemma for women
leaders are the stereotypes and common
ways of seeing that others have of us. While
all women are often asked (and expected) to
volunteer, be sensitive, not complain, black
and brown women juggle many additional
archetypes: “The Strong Black Woman”
or “The Office Mammy” (as one researcher
calls it). Asian women are expected to be
soft-spoken and agreeable (“The Model Mi-
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