“ As parents , our goal when our children sin is simple — restoration .”
them out . When our children do something wrong , we don ’ t isolate them in hopes that they ’ ll “ learn their lesson .” Instead , we move into the relationship — physically , emotionally , or both . As the adult , we will set the tone that leads either to reconciliation or to shame .
God calls Adam and Eve to understand what they have done . His questions aren ’ t designed to elicit information — He already knows ! Rather , He is guiding them toward self-awareness and understanding of their actions . As parents , we can fall into a trap of asking too many questions in an attempt to determine who exactly started the fight or to get a confession from the guilty party . Of course , parents aren ’ t all-knowing , but we can focus more of our attention on helping the child move toward understanding what went wrong and how they can start fixing it .
“ As parents , our goal when our children sin is simple — restoration .”
God does not save Adam and Eve from all the consequences of their sin . They had to live with what they did . Natural consequences haven ’ t been fun since the beginning . It can be hard to let our children experience the consequences of their choices , but it ’ s much better for them to learn hard lessons when the stakes are small than to learn those lessons later in life when the stakes are much greater .
God does not curse Adam and Eve . He curses the serpent and He curses the ground , but
He doesn ’ t curse those who are made in His image . Pray that God would set a guard over your mouth so that you would speak carefully to your children , especially when you ’ re angry or frustrated . Let your mouth bless and not curse your children .
God does not shame Adam and Eve , even though they experience shame . Instead , He covers their disgrace . Our kids will experience shame in life . We can ’ t prevent that . But we don ’ t need to humiliate them , much less mock or ridicule their failures . Let our grace cover their shame .
God puts in place boundaries that prevent Adam and Eve from suffering even worse future consequences . He sends them away from the Garden so they will never be able to eat from the tree of life , which would leave them in their sinful state permanently . Logical consequences are sometimes exactly what our kids need , just like they need boundaries that give them assurance that we are looking out for them .
The Lord ’ s response to Adam and Eve reminds us that our goal when our children sin is not to blame , shame , or demean . Instead , it is to fulfill what the apostle Paul directly commanded Christians :
Brothers and sisters , if someone is caught in a sin , you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently . But watch yourselves , or you also may be tempted . Carry each other ’ s burdens , and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ . Galatians 6:1-2 , NIV
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