When a Friendship Falls Apart
Elizabeth Laing Thompson
I miss you ! How ’ s life ? I ’ d love to hear what ’ s new with you !
I compose a let ’ s-catch-up-soon text for the third or fourth time in a matter of months , knowing I probably won ’ t get a response . . . again . . . but I feel like the friendship is still worth fighting for , so I press send with a sigh . I don ’ t hear back . I ’ m not surprised , but it still stings . I spend a few weeks — okay , it ’ s months — pondering the relationship . After a while , epiphany strikes : My interpretation of the drift is going to define how I feel and act moving forward .
For every loss , we have a story , and those stories hold great power . I have found that the perspective , or lens , I choose has a profound effect on the story I tell . And it has a profound effect on how I feel : how I feel when I look back on the friendship , how I feel about my friend , and how I feel about myself . Some lenses exacerbate our bitterness and insecurity , while others enhance our sense of grace and compassion .
Let ’ s consider a few key lenses , or perspectives , that might help you make sense of , and make peace with , the faded friendships you ’ ve
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