point out whichever value we were discussing at the time . We read from Proverbs , the Gospels , the epistles , and the writings of Old Testament saints . We read biographies , and on a weekly basis we watched a movie that embodied the shift we were exploring . We had long discussions about what that journey looked like and what its challenges were , and toward the end of our exploration into each shift I designed an experience and challenge to show Nate the joys and possibilities that come with moving from one to the other . I tried to end each one with a deep sense of reward , something that left him marked with positive feelings about what he would be shifting into .
And remember , these aren ’ t just generic manhood shifts — these are the shifts that help our sons become more like Jesus Christ . Jesus left the ease of heaven to embrace the difficulty of earth and of the cross ; Jesus humbled and emptied himself , and he lived for others , not just himself ; Jesus moved into a life of obscurity for us ; Jesus surrendered , not trying to remain in control of his situation ; and Jesus lived for eternal rewards , not temporary reality . Let me run through a few of the ways I tried to facilitate these shifts .
From ease to difficulty . Toward the end of our journey through this shift , I took Nate on the highest ropes course in the country . Truth be told , the heights were terrifying , especially for Nate , because he doesn ’ t like heights . He really had to focus and work hard to overcome his fears , and the whole thing was amazing because he got up there and was able to go through the entire course . He actually found real joy in it , and it gave him a physical , tangible reminder that doing difficult things is rewarding .
From self to others . I explained to Nate that he needed to realize life isn ’ t just about him and he needed to learn to live for other people , so I had him join a serving team at our church . He chose the hardest team , the group who set up the church early Sunday morning and tore it down every Sunday night . And let me tell you : there is no fanfare in this job , no glory . It ’ s just setting the stage so others can enjoy an encounter with God that weekend . Nate stayed on that team and served there for a couple of years , and it was very life-giving for him .
From the whole story to part of the story . I wanted Nate to begin to realize he lived in the middle of Manhattan and had a very privileged life , and the story God was telling was way bigger than the streets he walked and the people he saw every day . I took him to different parts of the city and different parts of the world so he could be exposed to people who lived differently than he did , those with fewer resources , those who were underprivileged , those born into very dissimilar circumstances .
From control to surrender . Life is a challenge , and things are going to come our way we can ’ t always control . Nate experienced this with the death of a pet . That might not sound like much to those of you who aren ’ t attached to animals , but we lost two dogs in pretty close succession , and it was really hard on him . He had to learn what it ’ s like to experience life as a challenge , and how to live through disappointment when things we can ’ t control come our way . There are giant forces at work in life , and we ’ re not able to make everything go our way . We ’ re not God . We have to learn to surrender to him and his plan .
From the temporary to the eternal . “ You are
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