“ Why are we so surprised when God ’ s gifts for us come through hardship or trial ?”
Jesus taught that the first shall be last and the last shall be first . He said that the meek , not the bold , will inherit the earth . Why are we so surprised when God ’ s gifts for us come through hardship or trial ?
I spent many years with complex regional pain syndrome ( CRPS ) in severe pain and mostly bedridden . Being homebound because of illness is extremely isolating . I grieved over friendships that vanished when my good health began to disappear . Eventually , I found myself living in the lonely kingdom of the homebound . This land seemed to cloak its citizens with invisibility , pain , and suffering that could be seen only by those who also lived there . But I rarely met them because the irony of belonging to this world is that you must be isolated by illness to join .
So , alone within the four walls of my bedroom , my constant prayer was this : “ God , bring me people who will visit me and not give up on me .” Finally , at long last , my prayer became “ Jesus , show me Yourself amid all this . Be enough for me . Be present , like a friend to me , in this lonely bedroom .”
God answered my prayers in reverse . Jesus did become a very real friend to me ; I felt His presence strongly at times . He was the only one who truly knew the depths of my pain , and He was the only one who was awake with me during all my sleepless nights . God also answered my prayers for friendship and support , but the vehicle He used to answer them was a complete shock : I received the diagnosis of another illness . Just like a child opening a present of socks on Christmas , I was thoroughly dismayed and wanted to give it right back . And just like that same child putting on those warm socks on a cold night , I was finally able to derive comfort through it , regardless of my disappointment at having received it .
My new diagnosis ? Cancer . An aggressive form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma opened the floodgates for channels of love and support to enter my life . Friends who I had not seen in years began to visit . New friends drove me to my chemotherapy sessions . The body of Christ started to uphold me in a way that had mostly eluded me with my other diagnosis . Would I have chosen cancer as a means to restore friendships and bring much-needed fellowship into my life ? Absolutely not ! But God chose to allow it , and He brought the beautiful gift of loving support alongside it .
“ Why are we so surprised when God ’ s gifts for us come through hardship or trial ?”
Illness never looks like a gift . It looks like pain . It looks like loneliness , fear , and desperation . At times , it even looks death in the face . But we have a Savior who faced death for us and triumphed over it . He promises to walk with us in the darkest valley ; His goodness and mercy will pursue us all our days .
Our triumphant and faithful God knows our heart ’ s desires . What if the way He chooses to bring them to fruition is difficult ? What if our Father ’ s gifts come to us by way of our
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