when they choose to terminate a pregnancy ? How can we speak to the subject when we lack the fundamental compassion that could influence a woman ’ s decision ?
Women face myriad dilemmas that come with an unplanned or accidental pregnancy : confusion , desperation , fear , and perhaps coercion from family , friends , or circumstances . Where can they turn for help — a neighbor , a family member , a coworker , the church ? When was the last time a woman in your church felt comfortable enough to speak up about her situation and ask for help ? Sadly , it ’ s a topic that seems to be discriminated against with a stigma offensive to even the most loving of Christians .
Today 1 in 4 women will have an abortion by the age of thirty . Every family is affected by abortion , whether they are aware of it or not . There ’ s a good chance that every church congregation has at least one woman in its midst struggling with the consequences of abortion . Rarely do other members put themselves in her shoes to contemplate how she must feel when the topic of abortion is so callously brought up . Emotional sensitivity and gentle speech when dealing with this heated subject can open a door of reconciliation and healing . Conversely , aggressive attitudes and harsh words can push hurting women away from the healing they need in Christ .
Even the most kind and compassionate church leaders stumble around this subject matter . I ’ ve seen it . I ’ ve heard it . One church leader even said to me when discovering my past , “ I know we ’ re all sinners , but I ’ ve never done anything that bad .” Ouch ! By God ’ s grace and through his healing , I ’ m pretty tough , and these types of comments no longer send me into a tailspin . But I feel for the people who are still raw and in need of compassion , kindness , and gentle leading .
How can we make the church a safe place for everyone , no matter what they ’ ve done ? One of my favorite Scripture passages is 1 Timothy 1:15-16 : “‘ Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners ’— and I am the worst of them all . But God had mercy on me .”. I also love what John Newton said : “ The awareness of our own depravity is the root of perpetual tenderness .” God doesn ’ t give us what we deserve , he gives us what love demands — mercy , forgiveness , and a second chance .
How can we become sensitive about what we say and how we say it ? The answer comes from my own life experiences . I have walked out on pro-life meetings because they were too brutal . They were filled with well-meaning people , many who were and are my friends . But as a dear friend of mine once told me , “ Patti , not everyone has been to the foot of the cross .” And that ’ s what I tell myself . Extend grace and then more grace and remember that “ Mercy triumphs over judgment ” ( James 2:13 ).
In our current polarized society , what can we do to change the dynamics of the conversation ? Moshe Dayan , a famous Israeli freedom fighter , said , “ If you want to make peace , you don ’ t talk to your friends . You talk to your enemies .” We cannot guarantee
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