As we went through the rest of our cohort , Shauna decided she wanted to have a very candid conversation with Tiffany . But as she got closer to enacting her plan , she felt like she just wasn ’ t ready to go for it yet . Because a foundational value of the cohort is that people are there to do the work they need to do — nothing more or less — no one pushed Shauna to do something she was uncertain about . So , our cohort ended without her taking any concrete action toward her longing .
Truth be told , I felt like I had failed Shauna . I saw so much potential in her , but I couldn ’ t help her take the risk she wanted to . Nine months later , I got a call from her that taught me something I ’ ll never forget . She was calling to tell me that she had been accepted into graduate school for physical therapy and was about to quit her job . She planned to tell Tiffany about how horrible a boss she ’ d been , but she wanted to do it in a way that reflected her Christian values . She wanted to be candid but with grace
And she wanted to practice with me .
After Shauna had her script down , I asked her more about what had happened in the nine months after the cohort . She described a very slow , very cyclical process that included a lot of waking up as she pressed into the fog to hear God and come to know herself more deeply . As she did , she uncovered more and more that she wanted to dig into . She realized just how much of Tiffany ’ s behavior she could control : none . She also came to reckon with deeper forces affecting her confidence — stuff from her childhood and a past romantic relationship . As it turned out , Tiffany was only the most recent person poking at deeper wounds that had been there much longer .
Shauna ’ s work was slow , but it was also remarkable . Once she woke up to what she longed for , she never lost focus . She made her way , step-by-step , to an action plan that would not only help her deal with her boss but help her pursue what she really wanted . What looked like someone frozen in inaction was actually someone who intuitively knew to step back , slow down , and press deeper . Her pursuit didn ’ t have quick results . Exploring what she had woken up to took her down an unexpected path that ultimately helped her realize Tiffany wasn ’ t where she wanted to spend her best energy . Sure , she ’ d talk with her , but changing Tiffany ’ s mind was not the focal point of her work .
The real work was becoming surer of who she was and who she wasn ’ t .
Setting the Pace
Making our way through the fog requires us to pace ourselves .
Boating on the ocean and navigating the waters around harbors , inlets , islands , and rivers requires understanding just how much conditions can vary and how to manage in different scenarios . For example , as we enter most harbor areas , or narrow channels , we will often see signs near the entrance that say “ No Wake Zone .” This is an indication
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