frees us from the pressure of trying so hard to control the outcome . And this in turn helps us create lasting change .
If we can be okay and have peace no matter the results , we can set ourselves free from the pressure of trying so hard .
Trust
Trust helps us build the confidence and hope we need to make changes .
Whether we realize it or not , we all put our trust in something . When it comes to change , we are told to trust the guidance of self-improvement programs if we want to achieve results . We are fed promises like “ Follow these ten steps for guaranteed results ” or “ Lose ten pounds with our workout regimen .” These programs assure us that if we do exactly as they say , change is in our future . But Neal and I see this strategy backfire all the time , because this kind of change simply isn ’ t sustainable .
Joy gives us the gift of being able to trust ourselves .
You can trust yourself to know what your body needs for fuel and care .
You can trust yourself to know what to do with your money .
You can trust yourself to know what you need in a relationship .
Yes , you might need to learn some skills or mindset shifts , but ultimately you know yourself and what you need better than any plan does . If we fear what would happen if we went off the program , then the program is not giving us true hope . We experience real hope for change when we believe we know what ’ s best for us and how to take care of ourselves .
Play
Play helps us stick to positive change .
Research in neuroscience , psychology , and human behavior all indicate that we repeat behaviors we find pleasurable . God designed us this way to ensure our survival . If we didn ’ t enjoy eating food , being in relationships , experiencing intimacy , and more , we would fail to thrive as the human race .
If we stick to the things we enjoy , it makes sense that joy must come before positive change . Any change we want to make in life won ’ t last if joy isn ’ t present .
Play allows us to take risks and make investments in our own happiness . Change isn ’ t about sitting in the heaviness of life and staying steeped in negativity . We need moments of play if we want to stick to positive change .
Joy naturally helps us stick to positive choices for our lives . When joy is missing from our efforts to change , it leads us to burnout . It ’ s like swimming upstream or sailing a ship against the wind — we can do it for a while , but soon enough , we ’ ll exhaust ourselves . When we add play to our quest for positive change , we create lasting results .
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