How Difficult Childhoods Drive Us To Do Better In Relationships
Ike Miller
Our experiences with broken relationships when we were children produced a relentless drive in us as adults to pursue healthy relationships of our own . This is the good baggage that underlies everything else our childhood did to prepare us for exceptional relationships . This drive enables us to overcome many of the obstacles to healthy relationships that can readily derail the work of relational healing .
As I examined my own experiences and assessed my approach to having relationships different from the ones I witnessed growing up , I learned that it was key to set the right priorities .
Humility
First , our drive for healthier relationships enables us to prioritize humility . One of the greatest obstacles to relational healing and strength is pride . Pride is an obstacle to vulnerability and therefore to intimacy in relationships . It produces self-defensiveness , and defensiveness is an obstacle to owning mistakes and wrongdoing . This , in turn , becomes an obstacle to effective communication and conflict resolution .
However , when we ’ re willing to own the brokenness we ’ ve caused , it becomes a powerful use of humility for the good of the relationship . This willingness to take responsibility for our mistakes may not come easily , but the desire to be focused on others and have a different kind of relationship may soften this resistance .
Relationally speaking , resolution can ’ t begin
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