Love requires us to address our anger privately rather than allowing it to spill out on the people around us . Love requires us to own it and goes to work on it . Paul says , love is “ not easily angered .” It ’ s not easily stirred up or provoked . Instead , love absorbs . Love puts the other person ’ s story ahead of our own .
Love requires us to forgive . Love “ keeps no record of wrongs .” Funny thing about relational record keepers . They rarely keep track of their own records . Do you enjoy catching your spouse or significant other messing up ? That ’ s messed up . Forgiving and pretending to forget is your best bet . That ’ s what love requires . To do otherwise is a power play . When someone holds your past over you , who ’ s in the elevated position ? Love is not about powering up . Love is about stepping down .
Paul ’ s final descriptors are best taken together as one big game-changing idea .
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth . It always protects . . . always trusts , always hopes , always perseveres .
Love requires us to see and believe the best while choosing to downplay the rest . We might as well believe the best about each other . Nothing is gained by doing otherwise . Love chooses a generous explanation when others don ’ t meet our expectations .
Paul says love “ always protects .” Love requires us to do everything in our power to protect or guard the relation- ship . Translated : Love doesn ’ t smuggle harmful things into a relationship . Just the opposite . Love keeps harmful things out .
That ’ s quite a list . But that ’ s what love requires .
Aren ’ t the adjectives and verbs in Paul ’ s list the very things you hope for or even expect from the people closest to you ? Your spouse , fiancé , significant other , kids ? Isn ’ t this what you hope for from your friends , neighbors , and coworkers ? In some respect , you expect the people you love most to exhibit some form of everything referenced above . If these are the behaviors and responses we consciously or subconsciously expect or hope for from others . . . shouldn ’ t they be required of us as well ?
“ Love requires us to forgive . Love ‘ keeps no record of wrongs .’”
It goes without saying , but I ’ ll say it anyway : when two people or two parties embrace this approach , amazing things happen . There ’ s virtually no obstacle that can ’ t be overcome . If that sounds like hyperbole , think back to your last relational conflict at work . What if you and your supervisor , partner , associate , or employee had both approached the conversation having predecided to protect the relationship and not to dishonor the other party . Different tone ? Different outcome ? Probably .
Think back to your most recent conflict with a family member or significant other . Would the tone and temperature of that conversation have been different if both parties had predecided not to be self-seeking and to protect the relationship
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