“ How can we notice the complacency of this season if we ’ ve left no time in our schedules for it ?”
and asked how we were doing , do you know how most of us would respond ?
Busy .
Few of us would think to say we ’ re bored . Because how can we be bored when we ’ re so busy ? How can we notice the complacency of this season if we ’ ve left no time in our schedules for it ?
Back to school is always an extremely busy season for us , and I especially noticed it last year . Yet even with all that busyness , somehow I ’ ve still felt bored .
“ How can we notice the complacency of this season if we ’ ve left no time in our schedules for it ?”
I ’ ve found myself not really interested in anything . Nothing holds my attention . Often I want to go to sleep instead of hanging out with Scott in the evenings . Our schedule has fallen into a place where it ’ s just sort of rinse and repeat . Sometimes I feel like I ’ m stuck at a certain pace , and that pace left me feeling lethargic .
Don ’ t get me wrong ! Sometimes boredom is good . Boredom can lead to creativity . Books upon books are written to boost your creativity . In fact , I took a break from the podcast because I was seeking that sort of boredom . I wanted to boost my creativity . But the boredom I ’ ve been experiencing doesn ’ t feel like the kind that is creating space for something new . It feels like an indication of something bigger .
Now , hear this : I ’ m not looking to make drastic decisions or launch myself into a midlife crisis . But I am feeling quite restless . I am in a murky middle space in life and work . Maybe you can relate . Maybe you feel like you are so busy that you can ’ t catch your breath , yet you feel a strange boredom in your soul . Maybe you ’ re up at night wondering who that girl is looking back at you in the mirror . You wonder why you don ’ t feel like yourself anymore . I ’ m not sure what the answer to this seemingly stagnant season of midlife is , but I do know what it ’ s not . I know the answer doesn ’ t involve becoming busier . The answer isn ’ t about finding a different job or a different relationship . The answer isn ’ t about going from dull and boring to shiny and new .
Instead , the answer is sometimes found in asking the question .
Yes , that sounded very Yoda-like . What I mean is that maybe the answer looks different for each of us . But to find the answer , we have to ask questions about why we feel the way we feel :
What is underneath the feeling of boredom ?
What am I trying to escape from when I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep ?
46