“ Engage with what you normally avoid and see if it can lead you to places you ’ ve never been .”
lines : “ Who are you really , wanderer ?... Maybe I ’ m a king .”
Who are you really ? Think about it — no matter how abandoned you may have felt , no matter how alone , no matter what life has handed you .
Maybe you are a king .
Maybe that ’ s what this is all about .
Maybe you have more to offer the world , your family , and your kids than you ’ ve been told .
Maybe you are actually a son of the living God .
Maybe you have a choice to be something more than you are today .
Maybe you are not a slave to your circumstances .
Maybe you don ’ t have to stay in the same patterns . Maybe , just maybe , there is more for you .
Letting Grief Lead to Transformation
In order to get to who you might possibly be , why don ’ t we try a new tactic ? What if we let grief lead for a little while and see where it takes us ? What are the things that move you into sadness ? You may not know the answer right off the bat , but think about your mom , your dad , your life circumstances , your wife and kids if you ’ re married . When you ’ ve given it adequate invitation and attention , do any of them move you toward sadness , even a little ? Or what about your childhood ? Is there a season , an event , a situation that floats toward grief or sadness when you think about it ? Then simply ask this question : Why ? Why does this make me sad ?
“ Engage with what you normally avoid and see if it can lead you to places you ’ ve never been .”
Engage with what you normally avoid and see if it can lead you to places you ’ ve never been . When you get there , let yourself feel the sadness that has always been inside . We still have a little way to go in this chapter and in our story , and we ’ ll look more closely at engaging in the work of grief in chapter 10 . But if you need to stop here for a moment to allow yourself to process , please do it . As part of the process , once you ’ ve found a small space of tenderness , write it down . This is simply a first step toward looking at your experience and seeing the goodness of God and resurrection of Jesus in the midst of your own life . Talk with God about your experience . Ask the Holy Spirit to bring comfort to you as you learn to wrestle with the insights that come from this experience . Jesus understands and relates to your suffering because He has known suffering . Don ’ t rush this . Stay with it longer than you are comfortable ; it will build new muscles to combat the avoidance so many men are prone to when doing this work . And last thing , remember to be kind to yourself in this process . These weren ’ t tools
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