forty-seven years; our hearts are bound in love,
friendship and commitment. Since this article is
focus on building marriages, I’d like to share our
priorities that may be helpful in strengthening
your marriage, or if you haven’t ventured into
these waters but have plans to do so someday,
this will be helpful.
Our first priority was to develop a deep love
for God and for each other. This is done
through your thought process: as a person
thinks, so that person becomes or is (Proverbs
23:7). Developing a mature mind comes from
understanding, humility and embracing truth.
Being honest with yourself and your spouse is
paramount to developing a lasting relationship.
I remember my Valerie asking me one day what
I wanted from the bakery. I told her an apple
fritter. She left and came back with a cinnamon
roll. I looked again into the bag and didn’t find
an apple fritter. I asked her where it was, curtly,
but unintentionally. She stood and looked at
me a moment, then turned and walked to our
bedroom without a word. The Lord spoke to
my mind explaining that My Valerie got me a
cinnamon roll because the bakery didn’t have
an apple fritter and she wanted me to have
something. The Lord impressed upon me to
apologize but I was reluctant to do so because of
my pride. I felt horrible and was compelled to be
honest with myself. I finally obeyed. She was in
front of the mirror brushing her hair. I went over
to apologize, she said No! I took her in my arms
and started kissing her, telling her that God said
she had to forgive me. She started laughing and
accepted my humble apology.
Without submitting to truth, the fog of selfdeception
and lies will become intricate parts
of your character that can eventually lead to
mistrust, emotional and physical isolation.
Your love maturation for God and your spouse
will keep your heart, mind and eyes focused on
what’s important in your marriage.
Secondly, maintain a strong desire for your
spouse. Spend the majority of your time (not all)
serving, looking after and loving your spouse.
Be completely one with each other, as the Bible
teaches; the two joined together become one.
This kind of oneness is continuous, physically
(sexually), emotionally and cognitively. We were
and are always together and enjoy each other’s
company. We do not need an outside stimulus.
If you are one in your marriage, you cannot go
to a place where your spouse isn’t in your mind,
heart and soul. Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 19:5
reminds us to deny ourselves so that we may
cleave to God and serve each other. Do not
allow another person or anything to steal your
eyes, your mind or your heart from the Lord or
from your spouse. Job 31:1 proclaims, “I made
a covenant with mine eyes not to look with lust
upon a young woman.” Our minds are infiltrated
through what we see or hear. Married couples
must make a covenant in their hearts to God to
keep covenant with their own spouse.
“Developing a mature mind
comes from understanding,
humility and embracing truth.”
Thirdly, make it a priority to communicate
daily with each other and with God. Talk about
everything with each other, this will dispel
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