TO GO FORWARD,
GO BACK
BY MICHAEL TODD
Some people get married and love each other
and maybe have kids, and they think that’s it.
The end of the relational road. There are no more
relationship goals to pursue because they’ve
already arrived.
And maybe that attitude works, sort of, kind of, at
least for a while. For example, until the kids are
gone.
Do you remember the normal relationship
process I laid out early in the book? Singleness,
then dating, then engagement, then marriage,
then love and maybe children, right? Well, when
you’re married, sometimes you need to go back
to the beginning of the process. Yes, you need to
be single and date again.
What?!
Why is the divorce rate for people over forty-five
increasing? Because when the kids move out,
too many couples find out that the project they
had in common is gone too. I’m not helping with
homework and taking Junior to the store to get
some new Js. You’re not packing lunches and
driving to cheerleading practice. Now when I come
home, I’ve got to look at you. We’ve got to talk. But
we don’t want to because the relationship ain’t
really there anymore. It vanished somewhere
along the way when we stopped paying attention
to it.
Naw, I don’t want you to get a divorce and start
playing the field. You know better than that by
now. But listen to what I’m about to say because
it’s a key to keeping your marriage joy giving and
God honoring till death do you part.
Even when you’re married, you should never
stop being “single.” What I’m talking about
here is being an individual and pursuing the
godly purpose and goals you have for yourself,
personally. Remember 1 + 1 + 1. You’ve got to
keep working on your 1.
23