FEATURE: BUILDING STRONG FAMILIES
Godmothers:
Why You Need One
By Lisa Bevere
Have you ever had a moment that is
embarrassing, awful, and wonderful all at
the same time? If so, you have my sympathy
because I have had more than my fair share
of them. Here is an example of just one of my
many.
A few years ago our executive ministry staff
decided to take on the challenge of transforming
our approach to leadership. Each of us was
invited to give ruthless, anonymous feedback
on the different leaders at the ministry. The
input was gathered electronically and sent
to the facilitator, who compiled all the data
to determine our challenges. Okay— that’s
putting it nicely. The facilitator used a different
word: constraints.
At a later date, the group of us gathered with
the facilitator. I’m going to go on record that I
would have preferred a private interpretation
of the results! But I’ve learned that leaders who
want to grow have to be willing to embrace the
pain of exposure and the aching nakedness of
vulnerability. Here is how it went.
The facilitator began to place us in a line,
situating us from the far left (least intense or
aggressive) to the far right (most intense or
aggressive). I was placed to the right early on.
I was disheartened to watch as everyone lined
up to the left of me. When it came time for my
husband, John, to join the line, I breathed a
sigh of relief. Finally, I’d no longer be at the
end of the line. Surely, he would displace my
pole position. I was shocked when the leader
placed John to the left of me. Were we tied?
John just smiled. Was this a joke? How could
I have possibly tested higher in aggression
than my alpha-male husband? Enough was
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