“ We only control our actions . We cannot control how other people feel or act .” responsibility . We only control our actions . We cannot control how other people feel or act . Still , she insisted she felt responsible for how this woman would feel and act . “ When did you first start accepting that ?” I asked . As the wind blew and the waves crashed , Mina said , “ My dad married my stepmom when I was ten . I tried to make her happy . I tried hard . But no matter what I did , she was never happy .” Suddenly Mina saw the connection between her current stuck state and what her inner child was telling her . That was huge . Mina recognized the moment when she ’ d started accepting less than she deserved .
own . She had an idea for creating her own product , but she was scared . I asked Mina what was holding her back . She told me she worried her former partner was going to destroy her . The words tumbled out of her mouth : She will be so mad . She ’ ll be so disappointed . I feel so guilty . I feel like I owe her .
Tears rolled down Mina ’ s face as she shared how she didn ’ t want to be in this working relationship anymore . But she worried her entire life would blow up in her face if she broke up the partnership . Mina was carrying heavy burdens . It was clear she felt super vulnerable , so I assured her she was safe . Nothing bad was going to happen . We were just exploring . It was okay that she was feeling some strong emotions . I was curious and wanted to encourage Mina to be curious too . “ When did you first start accepting that ?” is not a test . It ’ s an invitation to get curious . When noticing feelings like sadness , annoyance , anger , or disappointment , it ’ s helpful to try to remember when you might have felt that way as a child . Mina had been bracing for how her business associate might react to her choices , and she was afraid . I reminded her that how others feel is not our
“ We only control our actions . We cannot control how other people feel or act .” responsibility . We only control our actions . We cannot control how other people feel or act . Still , she insisted she felt responsible for how this woman would feel and act . “ When did you first start accepting that ?” I asked . As the wind blew and the waves crashed , Mina said , “ My dad married my stepmom when I was ten . I tried to make her happy . I tried hard . But no matter what I did , she was never happy .” Suddenly Mina saw the connection between her current stuck state and what her inner child was telling her . That was huge . Mina recognized the moment when she ’ d started accepting less than she deserved .
Before she could move forward , that decades-old wound needed attention . Mina needed to process some feelings . How did she do it ? She wrote two letters : one to her dad , saying , basically , You brought somebody into my world who made me feel unsafe and made me start questioning myself . Here ’ s how that made me feel . As she wrote that letter , she gained a bunch of insights . She also wrote a letter to her stepmom that helped her process her emotions . Writing letters helped her process her feelings in a safe way . And by getting honest with herself about how the realities of life events shaped her character , she saw some blessings that came out of those hard situations . In the process , she even chose to forgive her dad , her stepmom , and herself .
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