Second , they need church members to stand up for them and ( if necessary ) challenge and rebuke those who lob unwarranted criticism . Third , they need intercessions of encouragement . As one pastor shared with us , he began to believe he was as bad as his critics said because no other church members said otherwise .
A church full of critics will never be a healthy church , particularly if their criticism is aimed at the pastor .
If you are always biting and devouring one another , watch out ! Beware of destroying one another . Galatians 5:15
Reflection
Mike had very few real friends in the church . Most of his friendships were with other pastors and those he had gotten to know well in seminary many years earlier . He also considered his two brothers and his dad to be among his best friends .
He really felt blessed . Though he did not have close friends in the church , there were about a dozen men with whom he had strong relationships . He knew he could call on any one of them at any time .
Mike was in his fourth year at the church . His ministry there had started well , but things had gotten bumpy in year three . He tried to look honestly at himself to see what mistakes he ’ d made so he wouldn ’ t make them again . Indeed , those who knew Mike saw him as a man of high emotional intelligence who would always look in the mirror first when dealing with problems . But as much as he thought and prayed about it , he couldn ’ t isolate any one factor that had contributed to the growing negativity in the church .
When the criticism began to increase in frequency , Mike tried to manage the situation on his own . He knew that many pastors endured similar low points . He could get through it . But as the criticism became more intense , Mike grew weary . When he turned to his friends outside the church , they were supportive and offered some sage advice , but none of their proposed solutions or approaches ultimately helped .
Knowing he had to try something else , Mike decided to confide in and seek counsel from a trusted church member . He chose one of the three most respected people in the congregation , an elder named Marcus , who had been in the church for more than twenty years . Mike saw Marcus as a friend — not as close a friend as those he had outside the church , but still a steady and reliable relationship .
Marcus was a successful businessman , having started and grown his company to more than $ 20 million in revenue . Not only was he respected in the church , but he was admired in the business community as well .
The two men met in Marcus ’ s office . Like many businesspeople , Marcus did not offer much small talk . Within a minute of the pastor ’ s arrival , he said , “ It has to be a pretty serious issue for you to make an hour-long appointment with me at my office . What ’ s up , Mike ?”
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