LEAD April 2023 | Page 13

do the same thing yourself , checking each characteristic you think describes your child , and then compare results . ( You can print copies of the checklist from mattaboutmoney . com / resources .) If you don ’ t come to the same conclusion , that ’ s okay . It can take time and exposure to a variety of life experiences to gain more clarity about their tendencies . Either way , it can be good to revisit this exercise a year or two down the road .
As their temperaments become clearer , talk with your children about what temperamentbased strengths you see in them . Which ones do they see ? How could those strengths be used in ministry or at school ? How might they impact how they use money ? Especially in their mid-to late teenage years , talk about how their temperaments could help point them toward what to study in college and what types of careers to pursue .
Sanguines will thrive in relational jobs where they are teaching , selling , making presentations , and / or working in teams . Their upbeat outlook also makes them well suited for caring professions . Cholerics will excel in leadership roles , perhaps in business , politics , sports , ministry , or the military . Melancholies will be good at jobs that require precision , selfsacrifice , and creativity , which brings a wide range of possibilities into view — perhaps the arts , education , or medicine . Phlegmatics will do well at jobs that require patience , discipline , and routine , making great engineers , money managers , or accountants .
For the sake of brevity , I ’ ve been using phrases like “ Phlegmatics don ’ t like to shop ” and “ Melancholies are thorough ,” but especially as we introduce this topic to our kids , we need to be careful here . We would be wise to avoid labeling our kids and to make sure they don ’ t label themselves . They ’ re not a sanguine . Their primary temperament type is sanguine .
The work of Stanford psychologist Dr . Carol Dweck can help us guide our children in seeing some of the inherent downsides to their temperaments in a healthy way . She ’ s well known for her work on the topic of mindset , drawing an important distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset .
We want our kids to approach this topic not with a fixed mindset , where they see themselves as victims of their temperament , judge themselves because of the weaknesses that come with it , or see their tendencies as carved in stone .
Instead , we want them to bring a growth mindset to the table , viewing their temperament as a helpful insight into how God has intentionally , purposefully , and wonderfully designed them . We want them to see that understanding the inherent strengths that come with their temperament can help them maximize those strengths . In the process , they can discover more about where and how they could have their greatest God-glorifying impact . And we want them to see any weaknesses that come with their temperament as opportunities to learn , grow , and seek God ’ s help in managing those weaknesses .
Yes , impulsiveness may come with a sanguine temperament , worry may come with a melancholy temperament , a tasks-over-
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