AS A LEADER , YOU DO HAVE TO MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR CAUSE , BUT YOU CAN ’ T BURN THROUGH PEOPLE IN SERVICE OF YOUR CAUSE . revenge at critics , making excuses or blaming other people for your mistakes , loudly and constantly proclaiming your innocence , falling into depression or experiencing prolonged moodiness , and so on .
Why does narcissism trigger an overreaction to criticism ? In part , because an overinflated ego frequently hides deep insecurity . One of the more subtle truths about narcissism is that it often involves a sort of hidden selfrejection . You can become so consumed with fixing or hiding your faults that you can ’ t think about anything else . Humorist and writer Emily Levine said it this way : “ I am a recovering narcissist . I thought narcissism was about self-love till someone told me there is a flip side to it . It is actually drearier than self-love ; it is unrequited self-love .” This why it is so important for leaders to both accept themselves and lead themselves : if you can ’ t move past your failures and shortcomings , you ’ ll tend to overreact defensively to anyone who threatens your fragile ego .
Young Narcissus , staring at his reflection , would have made a terrible leader . He couldn ’ t take his eyes off himself , so he couldn ’ t leave the edge of the water . The same thing can happen if we take our eyes off the vision , off the challenges ahead , and — most importantly — off the people around us , and turn our gaze inward in narcissistic self-adoration . When we do that , we stop leading others and end up simply serving ourselves . That ’ s the polar opposite of productive , visionary leadership .
Narcissism is inherently unsatisfactory , and
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