LCSD COVID-19 Mental Health Awareness Volume I | Page 15

CONNECTING WITH
OTHERS
It’s possible to be surrounded by people and still feel alone. It’s the connections we make with
other people that help enrich our lives and get us through tough times, but sometimes it’s hard to
know how to make those connections.
Tips for connecting
Connect with others at places you already go to. There are places that you go
to over and over again - these are great places to strike up conversations and
start to make friends. At work you might ask a co-worker to join you for lunch
or to grab a cup of coffee. If you have kids involved in extracurricular activities,
you probably see the same other parents attending their practices or dropping
them off each time. If you go to the gym at the same time each day, you may
notice others who are on the same workout schedule.
Use shared experience as a topic of conversation. Use your current situation
as a topic to talk about. Maybe you’re stuck waiting in a long line, or you noticed
someone is wearing a shirt from a place that you’ve been. Hometown sports,
local news and events, or even the weather can also get a conversation going.
Give compliments. If you’re struggling to figure out what to say to someone to
strike up a conversation, try starting with a compliment. You can comment on a
person’s outfit, tattoo, or a piece of jewelry that you like and maybe ask them
where they got it. Use their response to continue the conversation, for example
if they tell you they got it at a certain store, ask where that is.
Make time to be social. Going to work and taking care of life’s other daily
responsibilities is time consuming and many of us feel exhausted by the end of
the day. While it’s tempting to just sit on the sofa and zone out in front of the TV,
that time can be spent in a more meaningful way. Set aside at least half an hour
each day to connect with other people outside of work.
Not all connections have to be done in person. While spending time with
someone face-to-face helps to create the strongest relationships, phone calls,
text messsaging, emails, and video chats can maintain friendships when
distance or time constraints get in the way of hanging out.
Research shows it can take
50 hours for someone you
don’t know that well to
turn into a true friend.1
During the week,
Americans watch an
average of 2 1⁄2 hours of TV
per day, but only spend
half an hour per day
socializing.2
The number of friendships
you have early in your
adult life and the closeness
of those relationships can
influence your wellbeing
30 years later.3
If you feel like you are
struggling with your
mental health, visit
mhascreening.org to
check your symptoms.
Accept invitations. If someone asks you to go somewhere or do something
with them, accept their invitation. When you turn people down over and over,
they may stop inviting you. It may not be your favorite place or activity, but you
can use the time to build your friendship and suggest things you like better for
the next time you get together with that person.
Pay attention to what other people are interested in. For instance, you may
notice a family portrait or a pet’s picture on a coworker’s desk. Ask them how old
their children are, or what their pet’s name is - and show genuine interest in their
answers. Ask follow up questions and if appropriate, share something relevant
about yourself, like how many children you have or the name of your pet.
Organize activities. If there is something that you are interested in doing, ask
someone else (or a group of other people) to join you. It can be hard to make the
first move, but it may end up that someone else wanted to do the same thing all
along and was waiting to find out who else was interested. Don’t be discouraged
if schedules don’t cooperate sometimes. Keep making invitations!
Sources
1Hall, J. A. (2019). How many hours does it take to make a friend? Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 36(4), 1278–1296.
2US Dept. of Labor. (2018). American time use survey. Retrieved from http://www.bls.gov/tus.
3Carmichael, C. L., Reis, H. T., Duberstein, P. R. (2015). In your 20s it’s quantity, in your 30s it’s quality: The prognostic value of social activity across
30 years of adulthood. Psychology and Aging, 30, 95–105.
It’s free, confidential, and anonymous.
Once you have your results, MHA will
give you information and resources to
help you start to feel better.