SE DIO VUOLE
AGONY AUNT ANNALISA BARBIERI ON
FAITH FAMILY
AND FRIENDSHIP
Annalisa Barbieri is a name many of you will recognise , whether from her ‘ Ask Annalisa ’ column in The Guardian or from her work as The Observer ’ s chocolate correspondent . Beyond these roles lies a fascinating personal journey that intertwines her Italian heritage with her life in the UK . We had the privilege of speaking to Annalisa about how she manages to balance both aspects of her identity , shedding insight on how her background continues to shape her writing and perspective , both in the newsroom and beyond .
I wondered whether you could start by talking to us about your own relationship to Italy and your Italian background .
So , both of my parents were Italian : my father was from Parma and my mother was from Avellino , which is near Naples . They were both working in service in the 50s and met in a house in Hampstead , eventually getting married and having my sister and I . We grew up speaking Italian in central London , but we went to Italy for a big chunk of the year – I remember it as May to October . I think my mum was quite isolated here and when she went home , she had her big Italian family , you know how it is . So I have very strong associations with Italy but my life ’ s always been split between two cultures . I ’ ve never quite fitted in either side because I ’ m too Italian to be English and too English to be Italian .
Do you ever find it challenging to connect with your Italian identity while living away from Italy ?
No I don ’ t , I was very much centred in that world , very much in contact with my cousins and especially now with texts it ’ s really easy . I ’ ve struggled more as I ’ ve gotten older . My parents are both dead now and I ’ ve found I ’ ve lost a lot of that . When I had children , I found that really hard because I wanted them to grow up speaking Italian , and [ my ] mum , [ my ] dad and I really tried to make that happen . But because my husband is English , it was an uphill battle . I find English people rather reluctant to speak a different language . I miss family . When people talk about their big family gatherings here , I get a pain in my heart because I don ’ t really have that . I have my friends who are wonderful but I don ’ t have those big family gatherings here , that ’ s always been over there . My grandparents have always been in Italy so I ’ ve never really known what that ’ s like . I don ’ t know if you ’ ve heard the phrase ‘ first-culture , second-culture kid ’, where you ’ re not from where you grew up , but it ’ s like a feeling of missing something but you ’ re not sure what .
Could I segue into talking about some of your writing ? I read something you wrote back in 2008 and you talked about your father setting up an ice cream shop . Has that connection to Italy been bridged by the connection he had to the food culture ?
I suppose , but at the time it didn ’ t feel like it . When my parents got married , my dad worked in a restaurant in central London . When I was about seven or eight , he bought his own café on Bayswater Road called Lo Spuntino . My mum would make food : bolognese , spaghetti , cakes , and I used to earn little bits of cash waiting tables . I never really saw it as a bridge between cultures ; I just saw it as my mum and dad doing what they could to make a living . Then my dad turned seventy , he ’ d semi-retired , and then opened up the gelateria like he ’ d always wanted . Even then I didn ’ t see it as how you ’ ve just described it , but looking back if he ’ d been a banker maybe that connection would ’ ve been lost . They were always deeply rooted in it .
Source : Annalisa Barbieri
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