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Do you think there are aspects where Italy and the UK differ in terms of values , particularly in how life is lived as an Italian versus as a British person ?
Yes , absolutely . One of the biggest differences I ’ ve noticed is that Italians seem much more willing to offer support . Growing up with immigrant parents who had no roots here , everything was about securing the family , making sure we were safe , buying a home when you still could . I went to a Catholic school and a lot of my friends , who are still friends today , were from Polish , Irish , or Italian backgrounds , so there were a lot of similarities . Our packed lunches were different …! My mum would pack yesterday ’ s leftovers , making the best sandwiches , of course I didn ’ t appreciate them at the time . I wanted the kind of sandwiches my friend Marian had : sliced white bread . They all wanted my polpette .
I think the really big thing though is family . When my mother got old and I moved her here , I had to put her in a nursing home , and that was heartbreaking for me . That isn ’ t what Italians do . Families build extra rooms for their parents , they live together . I tried to do that , but my parents didn ’ t want it . It felt like I had let my mum down because in Italy , the nonni and the zii all live together . I haven ’ t seen that as much here . A lot of my English friends thought it was normal to just put her in care , but that was not the way I was brought up .
The attitude towards death is also really interesting . They are very comfortable with it , sometimes too much , but it means it isn ’ t as scary . Money is another thing . Money was very freely spoken about , but English
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“ I grew up with “ se Dio vuole ”, which I found quite strange . I think it ’ s lovely how comforted Italians are by religion .” people don ’ t tend to enjoy this .
What do you think about the relationship between Italians and faith , in particular ?
I think it ’ s more obvious than the British relationship to faith , where there is much more concern about politeness . I grew up with “ se Dio vuole ”, which I found quite strange . I think it ’ s lovely how comforted Italians are by religion . My maternal grandmother was extremely religious – to the point where growing up I thought she could speak to God directly . When she was dying and I was sixteen , I was getting her to ask questions like some sort of medium . She definitely seemed to go somewhere and come back . So I think that the relationship to faith is more obvious among Italians , but it also might vary from south to north .
To talk about faith in different terms , it must take a lot of trust for people to write to you with such personal questions for the column . Was it ever difficult to gain that trust ?
I don ’ t know why people trust me , I ’ m glad they do but you ’ d have to ask them really . Why do we believe what any journalist has to say ? The most important thing for any journalist is integrity . I ’ ve always been very careful about what I share , and I have a strict system in place to protect confidentiality . No one sees the emails
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apart from me , unless something goes wrong and there ’ s a complaint . Even then , I never pass on names . We have a strict code of conduct to follow , and with data protection laws , that ’ s even more important now .
I ’ ve also never crossed the boundary between friendship and work . Some of my closest friends are people I ’ ve known since school , and while some of them have gone on to be quite wellknown , I ’ ve always kept that separation . People can tell when you ’ re careful about these things . These days , you ’ re never really off duty as a journalist . If you behave badly in public , especially online , people will notice , and that affects how much they trust you .
I can imagine that you must get all sorts of people coming to you for advice on both sides of your life . Have you noticed any differences between the way that Brits and Italians approached these personal dilemmas and things that they need to seek advice ?
In terms of the column , I wouldn ’ t know because I get emails from all
“ English people , on the other hand , or at least the ones I know , are much more open and curious about their emotions . They ’ re more willing to explore those tricky conversations , whereas Italians tend to avoid them .” |
over the world . That being said , when someone tells me they ’ re Italian , Indian , or Irish , for example , I can often recognise the kind of family dilemma they ’ re describing as there are definite similarities across certain cultures . In real life , though , I ’ ve found that Italians are much further behind the English when it comes to mental health . They don ’ t really talk about it and often just shut down . For example , I ’ d never tell an Italian friend I was depressed because they wouldn ’ t know how to handle it . They might change the subject or just have no idea what to say . English people , on the other hand , or at least the ones I knoware much more open and curious about their emotions . They ’ re more willing to explore those tricky conversations , whereas Italians tend to avoid them .
As a final note , we wanted to “ Ask Annalisa ” for advice on behalf of any students looking to get into the world of journalism . What would you recommend ?
I would say write a handwritten letter to the journalists you love to read , and ask for even just an hour of their time . Seek out opportunities and remember , as my mum taught me , to never think any job is beneath you unless it is illegal or hurting you . Be passionate , constantly curious and always asking questions as you never know who you ’ re sitting next to .
By Lucy Breen ( She / Her ) // Final Year ; Italian and French
Additional reporting by Bruno Quinney ( He / Him ) // Final Year ; Italian , Portuguese and French .
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