Liberian Literary Magazine
“ I am not . I just don ’ t work like you do . I have time to work .” I fire back but catch myself because I am getting into one of those quick sand situations . “ Okay woman , when is the cornbread coming ?”
She burst out laughing , “ You . You think I work for you ?
“ Oh she laughs . The woman can laugh ,” I chime in . I know I got her so I carry on . “ You live to serve me and my children .” I say trying to make a straight face .
“ Yeah right , master . Say that again and you ’ d both starve .” She says between giggle .
“ Go in the kitchen and do your magic man , woman . Try it and see . By the time Butter is done with you , you will be rushing to fix food . Get off your lazy butts and go .”
We both laugh , I start tickling her . Butter joins in . She never misses an opportunity to tickle . She has no sides , on any given day , she ’ d be stopping me from tickling her mom in hopes of me adding her to the tickle game or joining me to crucify the mom . Today , however , she is on my side . She runs off to the room and slams the door . “ You guys will starve today !” She says .
Butter and I are cheering . “ Yeah , we got mommy . We do our victory dance .”
The door opens and she pokes her head out and says , “ Foodgees !” slams it quickly before we can reach her . “ Click ,” it locks . She continues to laugh . “ If you guys want to eat in this house , you ’ d have to beg me-on your knees too .” “ Ipuah . Beg you from wheh side ?” I say . “ Okay , we will see .” She responds . “ If you are a woman , come outside now ?” Butter coaxes , “ Mommy come outside . We won ’ t do anything .” “ Liars !” she says between laughs , “ You and your father . The , greedy people .”
The phone rings . Butter rushes there , takes it and recognizes her Aunty S ’ s picture . It ’ s Aunty ”. Only one person she calls that . She answers it . “ Hello Aunty S . how are you today ?”
Her grandma replies , Merry Christmas Butterfly . How are you ?”
“ Maa , the woman jumps from the room and snatches the phone . “ Your grandchild and her father want to kill me .” My mother-in-law is one of even fewer words . She has never fully come to grips with the crazy jokes we make . Often , she says nothing in these situations but laughs . Today , she says , “ Oh Butterfly , what did you do to mommy ?”
“ Daddy tickled mommy , Grandma . Naughty Daddy . Grandma , where is aunty S ?” she
Promoting Liberian literature , Arts and Culture
switches . “ Oh , so you are selling me out ?” I say to her . “ Were you not tickling her as well ? She smiles that her crooked smile .
“ Yes Butter , a very naughty daddy .” The mom jumps in . She goes on to tell all about her latest adventure . Her Grandma listens and finally asks her why she broke the stove .
My phone rings , it is my mom . “ Hun , it ’ s Mama .” My wife says handing me the phone .
I take it into the room , but the woman is more interested in talking to her girls as she puts it than me . We trade holiday greetings and she insists I take the phone to the women in the house . Well , I know better than to continue talking , so I go out , we switch phones , I get Ma and we start talking . We actually enjoy talking . We ’ ve had an excellent relationship and I understand I am one of the few persons that gets her to talk at any length .
I hear my mom trying to sing for them and suddenly , I am glad I don ’ t have to listen . Love my mom and all but growing up in a family of musically tuned ears , my mom and my brother that follows immediately after me , are the worst singers ever . A part of me is dreading the family caroling but the other is longing for it . We get a good laugh at those two every year-and they don ’ t disappoint . They come back fully armed with all the wrong musical notes .
Bang ! The suddenness and loudness make the two of them come running into the room . I too was startled by the sound that came out of the kitchen . I ran to see and when I opened the door , I just froze .
My wife came into the living room and asked , “ Hun , what is it ?”
I just stood there looking …; looking at the stove ; more like what was left of it .
I love writing but if you read no more stories from me I am sure you ’ d have guessed right . Somehow , my wife read this and decided to put an end to MY story . Let ’ s hope it doesn ’ t come to that .
By Anony Mous
Natcho *= an extremely smart child ; clever more on the witty side ; more like know-it-all .
Feecee *= roughly translated as useless ; not worth much ; good for nothing .
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