TOGETHER apart by God's Butterfly
Khalil Gibran said of marriage: “And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
Once we decide to get married, we all believe that we are ready to take on this exciting journey called marriage. In a lot of marriages, that is exactly what happens … the fairy tale is realised and the lovely couple lives happily ever after. But sometimes, those little jackals creep through the fence and try to destroy the vineyards of love.
One of the reasons for this, is that one of the parties in our happy union, believes that marriage means that they should never, ever be apart again.
Although it is very true that the couple becomes “one” in marriage, does this necessarily mean that we become one in everything we do? If what Khalil Gibran says is true, and that we should be like the Oak and Cypress and grow side by side, but not in each other’s shadow, what does this imply for the modern married couple?
When we enter into relationships, the biggest complaint from the couple is usually that “She wants me to do everything with her, I am not allowed to do anything on my own” or “He never wants to do anything with me, he always wants to hang out with his friends”. Sound familiar? Well, do not fret or get depressed, most couples go through this phase, and in marriage it is bound to raise its ugly head at some point in time. So how do we handle this situation with trust, respect and understanding
Five helpful rules on allowing each other space:
1.
The truth is that personalities differ. In letting our partners out to go fishing, go for a morning session of pampering with the girls, go on a men’s or ladies weekend, we not only allow them to explore friendship and time to grow with others, we also allow ourselves the time to expand our love to the next level.