Using Non-Violent Communication to improve conflict resolution for Grade Eight Boys
“ Thus my research question was born : How could the use of NVC impact Grade Eight boys ’ ability to resolve conflict ?”
My Feelings , My Needs
Using Non-Violent Communication to improve conflict resolution for Grade Eight Boys
By Saybel Nuñez-Pipitone
During the 2022-2023 school year , I had the honor of being a part of the International Boys ’ Schools Coalition ( IBSC ) Action research cohort . Action research is “ any systematic inquiry conducted by teacher researchers … or other stakeholders in the teaching / learning environment to gather information about how their particular schools operate , how they teach , and how well their students learn . This information is gathered with the goals of gaining insight , developing reflective practice , effecting positive changes in the school environment ( and on educational practice in general ), and improving student outcomes and the lives of those involved .” ( p . 10 , Mills , 2018 ).
With IBSC ’ s 2022-23 action research theme “ Shattering Stereotypes , Helping Boys Cultivate Healthy Masculinity ” in mind , I conducted a literature review as part of Saint David ’ s Practitioner Research course funded through the school ’ s summer grant program . One book that impacted me in particular , was Better Boys , Better Men by Andrew Reiner . Reiner underlines the
“ Thus my research question was born : How could the use of NVC impact Grade Eight boys ’ ability to resolve conflict ?”
fact that boys are not explicitly taught a variety of vocabulary words to express their feelings , leaving them with only a few big emotions to express : anger , frustration , excitement , etc . This perpetuates ideas such as “ real men don ’ t cry , or express their feelings ,” which , in turn , tends to leave men in disconnect and isolation .
Additional research revealed that healthy masculinity , where men are able to communicate their full range of feelings and emotions , helps them cultivate healthy relationships in every area of their lives . We also know that boys are relational learners . They learn best when they have strong relationships , not only with teachers , but also with peers and at home . However , boys ( and men ) are not explicitly taught skills and vocabulary to express and articulate their feelings , which is detrimental to cultivating the relational dimension in their lives . Statistics provided by the American Psychological Association indicate that boys ( and men ) experience higher rates of loneliness and isolation , in comparison
Saybel Pipitone ( right ), with Tori Gilbert , at the IBSC Conference in New Zealand in June 2023 , where she presented her action research .
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