manner ? My action research would investigate how using Dr . Rosenberg ’ s methodology might support boys ’ expression and capacity to empathize with others and take responsibility for themselves . Thus my research question was born : How could the use of NVC impact Grade Eight boys ’ ability to resolve conflict ?
This project fits well within the religion program ’ s goals . So , 10 sessions of my eighth grade religion class were dedicated to learning vocabulary words of feelings and relational needs . As one boy mentioned , while viewing our word wall , “ NVC helped me articulate my feelings by ( my teacher ) putting up cards to visualize my internal feeling .” NVC protocol teaches that every feeling springs from a relational need . When our needs are not met , the feelings we experience can be uncomfortable , and this can lead to conflicts in our lives . Learning to communicate our feelings and relational needs in a healthy , responsible way helps us avoid or resolve conflict . NVC works with the Observation , Feelings , Needs , Requests structure . We learned and practiced these through roleplays , games , with stuffed animals , and with vocabulary cards . Once the boys mastered the protocol , they taught it in pairs to different classes of Lower School boys . All the while , I was collecting , recording , and analyzing data about how the boys were responding to this process , to help me answer my research question . Three themes emerged from the data that were most significant to the boys . They are presented below , along with some representative feedback from the boys themselves .
• Better listening skills “ When my friend asked me to stop making fun of him , I heard his request and stopped .” “ NVC helped me wait and listen until I had the full picture before making up my mind .” “ I learned that whatever I wanted to say , I had to keep it in my head and let the other person finish , because I want to be heard , so I need to hear others .”
• Increased empathy for others “ From now on , I ’ ll start asking about the other person , and put options out there for the other person to choose from , so both of us can be happy .” “ Because hearing emotions helped me feel for people easier .” “ My NVC experience allowed me to better understand other people ’ s sides of an argument .”
• Increased ability to articulate feelings “ At the beginning of the school year I knew how I felt , but I generalized emotions because I didn ’ t have the words for my emotions .” “ Never be afraid to express your emotions , but do so in a calm and respectful way .”
The Lower School boys were thrilled to have the big boys as their teachers . They immediately felt connected and special because of their visitors . Some of my eighth graders chose to write stories for their younger students . Others used roleplays , puppets or games to get the message across that it is important to label our observations , feelings , and needs separately . When we acknowledge the basis of our emotions , we are better able to regulate ourselves and make requests for appropriate responses from others . Our younger boys were more open and quickly assimilated the NVC protocol even faster than some of the eighth graders did initially . This experience was clearly a highlight for the eighth graders as well . It especially helped develop their empathy for the challenges their teachers face every day . We hope to continue and expand this pilot work so that our youngest boys have healthy role models in their lives .
When presenting my findings at the International Boys ’ Schools Coalition conference last summer , educators from all over the world were inspired by the growth in boys ’ expressive capacity that the project demonstrated . Several have begun to implement our model in their own classrooms . My experience as an action researcher allowed me to see that teachers are in fact the ultimate influencers and that , through research , the nuggets of wisdom we each find in our classroom can be shared with a broader audience , to elevate the experience of education all around the world . •
Saybel Nuñez-Pipitone is an Upper School Spanish and Religion Teacher at Saint David ’ s School . She was selected by the IBSC to conduct action research and presented her project at the IBSC Conference in New Zealand in June 2023 .
10 • Saint David ’ s Magazine