Gary ’ s Grins By GARY NEWBORE
Since we are now entering the height of golf season , it ’ s only appropriate that this month ’ s theme is about golf .
� Golfer : “ Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron ?” Caddy : “ Eventually .”
� Golfer : “ Think I ’ m going to drown myself in the lake .” Caddy : “ Think you can keep your head down that long ?”
� Golfer : “ How do you like my game ?” Caddy : “ Very good , sir , but personally I prefer golf .” Golfer : “ I would move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course .” Caddy : “ Try heaven , you ’ ve already moved most of the earth .”
� Golfer : “ Do you think my game is improving ?” Yes sir , you miss the ball much closer now .” Golfer : “ Please stop checking your watch . It ’ s a distraction .” Caddy : “ It ’ s not a watch . It ’ s a
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compass .”
� Golfer : “ This is the worst course I ’ ve ever played on .” Caddy : “ This isn ’ t the golf course . We left that an hour ago .”
� Golfer : “ Do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday ?” Caddy : “ The way you play , it ’ s a sin any day .”
� Sam looks like a golf pro in his designer outfit , but he slices his drive on the first tee deep into the woods . Rather than take a penalty stroke he tries to hit out of the woods . The ball ricochets off a tree striking him in the forehead and killing him . When he arrives at the pearly gates , St . Peter greets him and says , “ You look like a golfer . Are you any good ?” Sam replies , “ Got here in two didn ’ t I ?”
� The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can ’ t see him laughing .
� Golfer ’ s prayer : “ May thy ball lie down in green pastures , not in still water .”
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Nonfiction Book Club By DAVE MAUK
Book group talks ‘ The Wager ’ The Charbonneau Nonfiction Book Group concludes its initial season with David Grann ’ s acclaimed bestseller , “ The Wager .” Seafaring adventure , mutiny on the high seas , survival of the fittest and courtroom drama all describe this tense , grisly tale . Before charting the course this book takes , the group discussed “ The Swerve ” at our May meeting .
This fascinating account was about the 1417 discovery of an ancient epic poem , “ On the Nature of Things ,” by Greek philosopher and poet Lucretius 1,000 years ago . The title comes from how
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the work ’ s meaning changed the course of thought , beliefs , culture , and science as the western world entered the Renaissance . We found the book challenging to read as it shifted between time periods and characters , as well as dealing with its complex content . That said , we collectively were glad to learn of Lucretius ’ and Poggio ’ s contributions to human life . One has to look no further than our own Declaration of Independence , where “ the pursuit of happiness ” clause is a direct link to the 2,200-year-old poem .
The pursuit of plunder is the core of our current book . It doesn ’ t take long to figure out that the Wager ’ s voyage might not end well , as mishaps befall the ship and its crew before the voyage pushes off from Portsmouth , England in 1840 . The purpose of setting sail was to capture a Spanish galleon loaded with treasure off the South American
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coast . What could go wrong ? Basically everything .
The downward spiral starts with a ship of questionable seaworthiness , cramped quarters , and a rotting , leaking hull . Then there ’ s foul water , spoiled food and disease . Now throw in violent storms , onboard rivalries , incompetent , cruel leadership and death . And finally , a shipwreck , where the few remaining castaways who were clinging to life on a bleak , barren island face hang-worthy charges of mutiny and murder upon their return to England . “ The Wager ” is a tale as salty as the seas where it takes place .
The Charbonneau Nonfiction Book group has expanded to 14 active readers . After the June meeting , we continue in September , reading Hilary Mantel ’ s historical novel , “ Wolf Hall .” We welcome new members to our meeting at 1:30 p . m ., Monday , June 3 at a to-be-determined location .
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