June 2019 June 2019 | Page 36

The Golf Cart CHRONICLES BY: SUZY JAMES - WWW.ITSNEVER2LATEBOOKS.COM This Is A Story taken from The Golf Cart Chronicles - A Compilation Of Funny Golf Cart/Golfing Related Short Stories LAUGHTER MAY HELP YOU GOLF BETTER SUZY JAMES, Author Y es, it’s fantastic if you are a profes- sional golfer and often laugh all the way to your bank. But, for those of you hackers who hit your drives like a wobbly old handheld egg beater, and cry over a drowning golf ball, you need to laugh a lot. It’s amazing how laugh- ter relaxes your muscles by releasing endorphins, (not Dolphins those smart marine mammals who live in an aquatic zoo and do fun tricks to make the public laugh). 36 Did you know Endorphins is some natural chemical stuff floating around in your body and turns on your good feeling sense? The act of laughing helps to lighten a golfer’s anger when his wretched club hits the grass behind that miserable round solid projectile ball thingy instead of hitting that baby where it will do it some good. That’s the way the ball bounces. So go ahead, share a hearty laugh with your golf part- ners and look at the funny side of making a Fat Shot. If you turn out to be a speed de- mon when driving your golf car, attach a sign on your back bumper that reads: “If You Can Read This Sign, My Buddy Fell Off.” WWW.GOLFCAROPTIONS.COM Come on smile, it’s one of the best things you can do with your lips besides trying to read a bunch of frivolous words out loud with stopping. Here’s a frivolous lip exercise that’s bound to run your lips ragged while waiting in a long line to tee off: Four flames frolicked Five flashlights faded Fourteen flares flamed Fifteen fires flared Forty flashers flickered Fifty fireworks fulminated Fifty-five fireplaces flashed Five hundred furnaces fumed Five hundred and fifty-five foot- lights fizzled Five thousand firefly’s fire-balled Fifty-five thousand florescent fix-